5 Pieces Of Breakup Advice That Are Total BS
There is some breakup advice out there that I like.
For example: "In order to get over someone old, you have to get under someone new." Anything that promotes hooking up with someone in order to get over an ex sounds pretty fun to me.
But there's also some dating advice that is corny as hell. It's the stuff that your friends say to you when you've finished your fifth pint of Ben and Jerry's, haven't left the house in two weeks, and they have absolutely no idea what to say to you to get you out of your funk.
I'm sorry, but an inspirational quote that a fitness blogger posted on her Instagram page — and a lot of pieces of advice that have been passed down through the ages — are just not going to get you through your breakup.
Here are some cheesy pieces of advice about breakups that are actually just total bullsh*t.
Time doesn't heal. Working on yourself will heals.
Doing the introspection and inner work to figure out why your relationship failed, or why you keep attracting and picking the wrong men over and over and over, is what is going to finally get you over your relationship and bring better, healthier ones into your life.
A calendar or a clock isn't going to bring Mr. Right to you, and it's not going to erase the memories of your ex. That would be nice, though.
"When one door closes, another opens."
Actually, when one door closes, a few more might open and then slam right back in your face.
A new relationship isn't necessarily headed your way because you want one. Actually, you might be alone for a while.
And when the door closes on your relationship, the others that open might not be ones you expect. It could be time with friends, an opportunity to date yourself, or free time to reconnect with your family.
Or better yet, don't wait for any doors to open; bust through the glass ceiling and focus on your career.
"If you truly love someone, let them go."
If you truly love someone, lock them in your apartment and never let them leave, like, ever, ever, ever! That's how love works, right?
It's true; sometimes, love isn't enough. But relationships also require hard work, so unless there are unsolvable problems with your partner, if you truly love someone, maybe don't let them go?
"If it's meant to be, it will be."
No, it won't.
Great relationships don't just fall into our hands. Love takes courage, vulnerability, and two people putting in the effort to make a relationship successful.
If it's meant to be, it won't just be. That's passive, and love is an action. But if you put in the work, it can definitely happen.
So if you break up and want to get back together with your partner, then go buy some flowers or get a boombox and stand outside their house, blasting your special song.
Romance isn't dead. But if you don't take a chance, your relationship will be.
"It is what it is."
I had an ex-boyfriend say this to me, and usually, it was when he didn't want to take any accountability for his actions.
Saying "it is what it is" releases all responsibility from the situation and doesn't allow for any introspection. Why is it what it is? How did you get here? How will you learn from the situation? What mistakes won't you make again?
"It is what it is" allows us to stay in the problem. Action and introspection after a breakup help us move toward the solution and actually heal and get over our ex.
Acceptance is important, but so is accountability.
What is the worst breakup advice you've ever received? What's your favorite breakup advice? Sound off in the comments.