8 Reasons Catching Up With Your Ex Is Not As Harmless As You Think

by Jamie Scanlon

You've done it. You've been thinking about it for a long time, and you've done it. You've left your relationship. You have no idea where your life is going now, but you know you've done the right thing.

Then, your ex texts you asking to catch up. You figure, what's the harm, right? Wrong. Here are eight reasons you should let your ex stay in your past:

1. You left for a reason.

Remember all those nights you lay awake thinking, all of those days you spent at work daydreaming of a new life and all of those long conversations you had with your BFF about what you should do? The pro and con list you wrote where the cons outweighed the pros proved that you left your ex for one — if not many — reasons. Don't go back on them.

2. You've spread your wings.

You've booked that trip you've wanted to go on forever, and you're spreading your wings across the world. You're exploring not only other countries and cultures, but you're also exploring who you really are at your core. After all, we're all guilty of losing our identities at some point, and our souls always call us back to ourselves.

3. One of you always stays in the same place in life; don't let it be you.

One member of most couples usually stays in the same place, town, city or job. He or she goes around in circles, and it often drives the other one away. That's why you left. It was you who needed to grow and move on with your life.

4. It will stir old thoughts and feelings.

Sure, he or she is probably always going to have a place in your heart, but that doesn't mean it needs to take up the whole thing. Every time you think of your former flame, every time you hear his or her name and every time that person calls, these moments will stir up those deep feelings inside. The more you allow yourself to go back to that person or be anywhere in earshot of his or her name, you're inviting pain back into your life.

5. Never go backward.

Only ever take a step to the side to let things pass. Never go backward with anything in life, especially in relationships. People cross our paths in life for many reasons.

They're here to teach us lessons, and these lessons will keep repeating themselves until we learn them. Learn your lessons quickly, and move on to the next.

6. It's not a good look for your new partner.

Your next partner is not going to like it. Think about how you would feel if your boo was catching up with his or her ex via text late at night. You'd be suspicious, right?

Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Once you've moved on with someone new, it's not so much about you anymore.

7. You look pathetic when you justify it to everyone.

Your friends are going to bring it up all the time, and you're going to look pathetic if you justify it constantly. It's that simple.

8. You're confusing the cosmos.

You get back what you put out into the universe. If you're putting out conflicting messages, you are going to get that back. It's going to affect you, and ultimately, you are the only one who can change this. Try not doing it in the first place.

This question has been around since the dawn of time, and it will continue to be for years to come. The above are just suggestions, so do with them what you choose. It's your life.

You might find it beneficial to keep a list of the reasons you left your ex in the first place, and you can go back to that every time you are tempted. It could save you a lot of heartache.