I know the stereotype, and I've read the zodiac descriptions.
They are always the same; the Cancer man is loving, compassionate and caring. He will nurture you and dedicate himself to you, but beware. The Cancer man is also a huge ball of emotions. He is needy and will most likely smother you, yet feel neglected if you aren't giving him attention all the time. Well this isn't exactly true. For me and most of the Cancer men I know, the reality is quite different.
Sure we have feelings and we show them, but since when is that a bad thing? Women talk about wanting a man to actually care about them, but you find one who does and the first terms that come to mind are needy and smothering? Damn ... that's harsh. So if being emotional and having feelings is too much, but not caring and showing none is not enough, then what is it you want? Some sort of perfect balance? Good luck. If you find that, you've found a man-corn (that would be the male version of a unicorn).
In response to the countless descriptions of what a man who happens to be of the water sign Cancer is supposed to be like, allow me to give you the breakdown of who a Cancer man really is.
Allow me to offer you a view of the Cancer male from the source. I'm not going to throw research at you, or feed you a load of BS, just cold hard Cancer man facts.
Honestly, it's pretty cool being a cancer man because we are the best of both worlds. We can have the hard edges and dominant qualities of a man, but also offer the soft embrace and caring heart of being in touch with and not afraid of our emotions. Welcome to Cancer man 101.
1. Yes we'll surprise you with flowers at work, and not just after we fight.
It is one of the great qualities of a cancer man that we love giving gifts, and we love surprising you even more. It's not about wanting or needing anything back from you, we just love seeing you smile.
Getting that text from you with the picture of them on your desk and the smiling emoji is all we need. Your joy is our joy, and we have a keen ability to send them just at the right time because we can read you so well. Embrace it and enjoy.
Every girl loves flowers, right?
2. We expect a lot because we give a lot. Don't mistake that for being "needy."
It's pretty obvious with this title that there are certain signs the Cancer just will not be compatible with. Selfishness is not something we handle well. We are going to do a lot of things for you. We are going to go out of our way to make sure we are meeting your needs, so yes with that, we want you to make an effort to ensure you're meeting ours.
If you aren't meeting our needs and we tell you about it, it's because we care about you. The goal is to try and get you to at least meet us halfway. We are more than willing to make sacrifices and not have every single one of our needs met, if you are willing to work with us, on meeting the ones you can. We are a flexible breed, and although stubborn and a bit impatient, we are resilient and will give everything we have to try to make it work.
Give your best effort and we will be the first ones to notice. If you ignore or negate our needs we will walk away. We don't have time for selfish people.
3. Sex is an experience, so pleasing you is everything to me.
The Cancer man's selflessness is your best friend in the bedroom. He's going to make sure he learns how to please you the right way every time. For the Cancer man, there's no such thing as getting his and going to sleep. He's going to find a way to make sure you get yours first.
He isn't afraid to get to know your body, and he will explore it meticulously until he can navigate it with his eyes closed. This doesn't mean we can't enjoy a quickie, it just means that when we have an opportunity to take you to the next level, we will.
The Cancer man will find your sweet spot every time because he's hyper aware of your emotions and your reactions. He's listening to your breathing, watching your movements and once he senses he's doing something right, he's going to keep going until he gets you to the peak of that beautiful thing called an orgasm.
4. We are emotional, but we are still men.
With the Cancer man, you get a special gift. He's in touch with his sensitive side, but still has those innate dominate traits of a man. We will often be alpha in the bedroom because we need to be in control to learn how to please you. We will open your door and carry your purse because we want to take care of you.
We will insist on always driving because we want to protect you. Our protective nature will also come out if you are getting harassed by another man, but not in a jealous way. Because we are thinkers, we will help you resolve it without causing problems.
If we are in a club, we will keep you close to keep you safe, not to smother you. We will walk you to the bathroom, not because we can't be without you, but again because we want to protect you. Sure you can handle yourself, but it's not about that. We don't want you to be disrespected and we know men because we are men, so we stay near you to keep the f*ckboys away.
5. Overthinking is our biggest downfall.
I have sabotaged many a relationship on this simple fact alone. Cancers, by description, are deep thinkers and over thinkers. If we aren't with someone who understands this and is patient with us, it can be disastrous.
My girlfriend was witness to this very quickly, and it caused some unnecessary disagreements, and then she learned how to help me stop it. If she sees I'm overthinking something, she very quickly will say to me, "You're overthinking ... stop." This causes me to pause and step back, to consider that maybe I am. Nine times out of 10 she's right, and we'll change the subject. Crisis averted.
We can be as emotional, nurturing and as connected to the female gender as we want, but that still doesn't mean we understand you. The one thing the Cancer male strives for most in any relationship, is mutual understanding. Communication is key with a Cancer male, because he not only wants to know what you're thinking, but needs to. We are very easy to deal with as long as we have a clear understanding of the situation. If you don't like to talk, or you shut down in a disagreement and aren't willing to work on that, then you will not work with a Cancer male. Silence causes overthinking, and again we are back to that disaster scenario.
If we feel you are upset with us or something is wrong, it will drive us crazy with worry, and we will over think it do death. If you aren't being clear and or honest with us, or if we feel there are holes in the story, we will push and dig to try to put the pieces together. The downside of this is that because we overthink, we usually think the worst, and if you aren't talking and telling us what's wrong, those feelings are only going to get stronger and stronger, with time. This will cause resentment.
The best thing to do in a relationship with a Cancer man to keep him from overthinking is to talk openly and often with him about what's going on in your head. The more we know, and the better understanding we have of any situation, the less overthinking we will do. Transparency is key with a Cancer man because anything else is mental chaos, and we absolutely hate chaos of any form.
I hope this information has been helpful in some way, to dispelling the stereotype of what a Cancer male is. No we aren't all rainbows and sunshine, but we have a lot of potential to be a great partner in the right relationship.
We won't always be easy, but we're always open, and finding love with a Cancer man is a beautiful thing. Just ask my Aries girlfriend.