It's Called Chivalry And You Either Have It Or You Don't

by Zareh Zurabyan

I’m tired of women saying chivalry is dead, and I am even more tired of men saying chivalry is not dead (or it is, but women killed it). Chivalry is neither dead or alive. Chivalry is chivalry; you either have it or you don’t, and a woman’s "eligibility" for it is completely irrelevant.

Is it practiced less often these days? Yes, but causation for this reality comes from both genders.

Nothing has happened to chivalry. It is still around; it's more energetic than ever. However, chivalrous men do not brag about its existence, and women who are exposed to chivalry do not gasconade about it.

Chivalry comes from within, and girls who deserve it tend to be the ones who receive it. It's important to note that some men are good men; they have good souls and are full of love, but they are not attentive, and they are not always aware.

It can be something that is developed, and the effort should come from both sides. It is a positive cycle, which I like to call the Chiv-Cycle, where the communication between a man and a woman is a mutual, respectful, harmonious relationship that feeds off of itself.

These unions do exist. If you are part of this elite group of individuals, be proud; if you're not, strive to get there. Unfortunately, technological advancements and the associated output of your own idealized self-image, thoughts and lifestyle have given way to the notion that chivalry is dead.

Men are afraid to get hurt by women whom they shower in attention, so they prefer to play games to prevent their hearts from breaking. This leads many women to act like brats in an effort to win these guys' hearts.

This absolutely has nothing to do with equality and difference or weakness and strength between males and females. Are the genders different? Yes, on many levels. Whether it is physically, mentally or emotionally, we are different creatures, but this reality is beside the point.

The point is every person has his or her own values, and it would be nice if those values were practiced and encouraged from both sides. Nonetheless, you probably know exactly where you stand with your values in this society. Everything is relative, and you always get what you deserve, which is also relative.

In other words, do not go to a bakery and ask for kebabs, and do not go to a basketball court with cleats. Do not expect the best results when you’re not taking the necessary steps to get there.

Holding doors, buying flowers, giving kisses, making her smile, making her the priority, holding her coat and pulling out her chair are not chivalrous acts so much as basic points of respect. Chivalry is when you put someone else's, especially your significant other’s, needs above your own.

Boys do not realize that "their women" are a direct reflection of themselves and vice versa. A real man has nothing to lose when he treats a girl with the utmost respect.

Photo Courtesy: We Heart It