What It Really Means When Your Love Interest Is 'Too Busy To Hangout'

by Sara Woznicki

Me: "Hey, how was your day?"

[Six hours later...] Him: "Hey, sorry. I've been really busy. Goodnight."

[Two days later...] Me: "Hey, do you want to grab a drink this weekend?"

[One day later...] Him: "Hey sorry, I've been really busy. Maybe next week."

Sound familiar?

It's happened to us all. You're chatting it up with some foxy new prospect, texting him constantly and seeing him on and off for a few dates. Then, all of a sudden, the fox is on the run.

He's got practice, working late, drinks with the buddies, gym workouts, a doctor's appointment every day for a mysterious ailment, a new pet kangaroo to entertain, a free trip to outer space and delivering cookies to the old folks home. Whatever.

He's too busy for you. And all he gives you is a few-syllable text to explain himself.

Now, don't get me wrong; I know we've all got things to do. And some days are legitimately too busy to fit any additional plans into.

We've all got work commitments, family commitments, social obligations, errands and workouts.

We're all busy. But, can we be honest with each other here for a minute? There's a really high chance that the "too busy" guy (or girl) isn't any busier than the rest of us.

We all get 24 hours a day, so mathematically speaking, we're all working with the same allotment of time per day. And we're all used to using that 24 hours in a day in specific ways, which we would probably consider as "busy."

For example, I wake up, shower, go to work, go to the gym for an hour, make dinner, then either attend social commitments, reconnect with my couch or run errands.

Then, it's bedtime. And just like that, I've spent my 24 hours staying rather busy without batting an eyelash.

However, should the opportunity arise for me to spend time with someone who doesn't quite fit into my routine, I have one of two options: I can either shuffle my schedule around to accommodate him, or I cannot.

It's really that simple.

When someone tells you he or she is too busy, what that person is really saying is what he or she is used to doing with his or her time takes precedence over the opportunity to see you.

Want to know how I know this to be true? Because I can't point the finger at everyone else and walk away clean; I, too, have used the excuse that I am "too busy."

But, that's just what it is: an excuse.

When I actually want to see someone, when he offers to hang out with me on a day I've already gotten plans in place, I rearrange my day to make time for him. Or, I include him in those plans.

My response is something along the lines of, "I'm supposed to do x and y, but if you want to do z in between, that'll work great for me." Or, I'll budget him into my time for the next day.

But, when I don't care to see him, that's when I go with the "too busy" route.

Not only am I saying, "I'm too busy," but I'm really saying, "I don't want to see you in the near future. I don't even want to bother myself to make up a legitimate excuse, or offer another time that may work better for me."

Don't accept when someone tells you he or she is too busy. Realize this person is not selecting you as a priority. And maybe, next time, he or she wants to see you, you'll be too busy.

You'll have found someone who makes time especially for you, just like you deserve.