It’s true: Losing a lover can be one of the toughest experiences you will ever face.
Not only are you losing a person you spent the majority of your time with, you’re also losing your best friend, shoulder to cry on and other half.
It can go a few different ways.
You can break up by mutual agreement, or maybe you and your ex-significant other lost feelings and realized your relationship wasn’t quite what you both needed.
Sometimes, you realize you deserve better. Sometimes, you realize you can’t live without the other person.
Either way, breakups are life-changing.
They're traumatic, actually.
They are one of the biggest changes you have to learn to live with.
After you lose somebody who meant the world to you, you start to view life (and virtually everything) differently:
1. You learn to see the beauty of pain.
It’s going to scar you. It’s going to hurt your heart, and you’re going to feel like you’re never going to properly heal.
Sometimes, it may even seem like you'll never get over the person you lost.
It’s going to take time. You’re going to come back better, stronger and smarter.
You realize the things you thought you needed were only false lies you told yourself.
The truth is, you’re whole on your own.
Eventually, you will see pain is brought into our lives to help us understand the beauty when something good comes along.
You start to see what you're worth, and appreciate the good that is already in your life.
2. You find out who your real friends are.
You will face being alone when you are on the verge of heartbreak. Sometimes, you’ll feel as though you're facing all of this alone.
The people you can call at 2 am -- after you’ve looked at old pictures and cried yourself into overthinking -- are the people who deserve to be in your life.
Sometimes, you will even discover some friends aren’t as good in your life as you thought.
The real people who love you unconditionally will prove to you why their friendship matters, whether that’s driving miles just to sit in silence with you when you feel absolute melancholy or holding your hand and guiding the way to the light at the end of the tunnel when you feel lost.
3. You truly find out who you are when you’re at your worst.
When you’re lonely, full of complete sadness and missing somebody, you actually end up finding out who you are as a person.
You may come to realize you are much stronger than you ever imagined. You’ve found you’ve come out smarter and wiser because you now understand how important it is to keep your heart safe.
A breakup can leave you feeling like you’re inadequate or not good enough.
You can talk yourself into thinking something’s wrong with you, that you’re not smart, pretty or enough.
But that’s not true.
In the end, we end up loving ourselves more when we’re at our breaking points because we realize we’re the pilots of our destinies.
We can steer our lives in the right direction, even if that means hitting a few road bumps.
4. You realize happiness is a choice.
After months of unconditional hurt, pain and agony, you push yourself to find happiness in the lowest of places.
It’s true we control our own happiness. It’s not healthy to depend on another human being to bring you happiness because soon enough, you will forgot how to bring it to yourself.
You will learn to realize you can create your own happiness on the rainiest of days. You can find sunshine through an army of clouds, and daisies through a field of weeds.
You just need to look in the right places.
Placing all your trust and happiness in one person will end up scarring you in the end because the truth is, that’s too much pressure for one person to keep.
Not one person can make you happier than you can make yourself.
Learn to love all of yourself, including your pain and sadness because true happiness comes when you forget everything you’ve lost and remember all the things you’ve gained.