Bottom Shaming: Yes, It's A Thing And It Needs To Stop

by Donny Meacham
Daring Wanderer

As someone who prefers to be on top, I have recently came to the conclusion that bottoms don’t get the respect they deserve.

Allow me to explain: I, for the first time in a long time decided to bottom again.

It's a decision I’m still not sure was a good one or not (I’m not saying that I didn’t enjoy it. Well, I didn’t really enjoy it that much, but it wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened to me).

When it’s been a while, it’s literally like sticking your finger in a Chinese finger trap, and we all know that isn’t the most enjoyable thing.

Bottoming is an entire process.

First you have to make sure that you took care of business at some point already that day.

Then you have to clean, which isn’t as fun as one might think.

Finally you just pray the entire time that no accidents happen.

I have friends who will only bottom, and for those above mentioned reasons alone, I don’t really understand it. But someone’s got to do it.

I don’t judge them on in it though.

Hell I wish I enjoyed bottoming more, because there’s this weird thing that I always seem to start “talking” to other tops, then we both realize that it’s probably not going to work because I’m not one to give in, and usually they aren’t either.

I’ll digress on that for now though.

I want to get back to where bottoms are treated like sh*t in the community.

In the gay community, bottoms are still seen as the more feminine ones. Bottoms are looked at as less than tops in the community.

Don’t believe me?

Then ask yourself when was the last time you’ve heard someone refer to a “top” in a derogatory way?

As far as bottoms being the more feminine ones, I have to disagree with this one.

Me and my friends have the old saying, “bigger the arms, bigger the bottom,” which in most cases turns out to be true.

Seriously though, is it an insecurity guys have that makes it so they don’t want to be labeled as a bottom?

Where does the insecurity come from?

I will tell you: It’s because we’re "bottom shaming" in the gay community and it needs to stop.

Is it the tops who are shaming the bottoms more or is it other bottoms?

A mixture of both I’d say.

It’s absolutely ludacris that a top would be the ones bottom shaming. If they're good enough to be in the bedroom with your dick inside of them, then why shame them in public?

Is it because you’re topping them, therefore you feel like more of a man then they are? WRONG!

You’re both men, therefore should be treated the same way.

If it’s other bottoms shaming each other, then that is literally the pot calling the kettle black.

In all reality, there are two people having sex (unless you get into some other things, which is cool, live your life), meaning there is a top and a bottom.

Neither position gives you a leg up in society.

Try putting “top” on your résumé and see that it gets you the job.

Here’s what it comes down to: Your sexual preference be it top, bottom, vers -- whatever you like doesn’t mean a damn thing.

Be proud if you’re a bottom, don’t be afraid to talk about it, let people know.

Same goes for a top, wear the badge proudly.

The next time you even think about “bottom shaming” someone though, think to yourself, why the hell does it matter?

You’ll realize it doesn’t and that we’re all a part of the same community and should uplift each other instead of trying to tear each other down.