Ah, ghosting. It's the dating phenomenon that happens when people are too cowardly to actually end things with the people they've been seeing, so they choose to just… disappear instead.
Ghosters are idiots. But if you've ever been ghosted, know that you're not alone.
In this weekly column, I share a tale of a time a reader was ghosted (with accompanying screenshots) so you can see the last text that was sent or words that were uttered before someone decided to disappear forever. I present to you: Boom, Ghosted.
This week, we have the story of Jennifer*. She was ghosted by her boyfriend the night they had dinner plans. And that's not even the worst part.
He ghosted her one week after he said "I love you."
Don't believe me? Read it for yourself here:
We'll call him Luis. I dated him back when I was about 15-16 years old (about 10 years ago). When he wanted to become serious, I told him no, back in the day. Over the years, I've had two engagements and went on a couple of dating sprees while living in the Detroit Metro area in Michigan. Then, I moved back home to Grand Rapids. Luis, seeing that I moved back home, randomly messaged me on Facebook. We hit it off all over again, including going on a party bus together for a friend's birthday, seeing each other at parties and going on dates. He eventually asked me to be his girlfriend with a FREAKING RING POP (so corny, yet so cute at the same time), and of course I said yes! Two weekends after, we had dinner plans with some mutual friends for a birthday party. He said he would be there. This is where things turned for the worst. About 15 minutes before dinner, Luis said he was running late, but STILL would be there. The other two people we were going to dinner with changed the location a couple of times, so I texted Luis to let him know the new destination. By the time we were about to cash out, our mutual friend texted him because he was upset with Luis, too. Luis called HIM back, apologized to him, said he would be there at the party and that he drank a little too much in downtown Grand Rapids with his buddy. (Now, mind you, he told me his mom was in town a few hours earlier. Liar.) Didn't say a word to me. Needless to say, that phone call, right before dinner, was the last time I heard from my supposed boyfriend. He didn't show up to the party. He actually even told me he loved me a week and a half before this happened. I feel stupid. Anyway, here are the texts. I really didn't go batshit crazy or anything, I just wanted an explanation.
What do you think of this?
Personally, I think the worst part is he had the decency to explain to their FRIEND as to why he was MIA, but not to her. That drives me up a wall.
Like, at least have the common courtesy to let her believe that maybe you died or your phone broke. Don't go calling your friend you KNOW she's with when you're blatantly ignoring her.
Ugh, this infuriates me.
And then, there's the whole he-told-her-he-loved-her-a-week-earlier thing...
What do you guys think? Am I missing something here? Do you see his point of view? Maybe you empathize more with her. Maybe you went through something JUST like this.
Whatever the case, comment your thoughts here. Let's talk it out.
As always, if you have your own story you'd like to submit to “Boom, Ghosted,” feel free to email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
*Name has been changed.