Body language is an essential ingredient of attraction. In fact, some studies have shown that 55 percent of our communication is done through body language alone.
When it comes to dating, sending out the wrong body language signals can scare off a potential mate, especially on a first date.
On the other hand, great body language can give you a boost in confidence and help you create instant attraction and deep rapport with your future lover.
Here's some of the easiest and most effective body language tips and tricks to help you instantly spark attraction on your next date:
People are social, tribal beings. We relax when we feel we are among those who are like us. Mirroring a person's body language is a way we instinctually and naturally build a rapport with others, and it is often done unconsciously.
By mirroring — essentially reflecting — your date's postures, gestures, sitting positions, tone of voice and/or talking pace, you can help to quickly build a rapport, trust and connection. By mirroring, your date may feel more at ease, comfortable and understood, as long as you don't make it too obvious.
2. Create Space On A High Note
This one may seem counter-intuitive, but it works like a charm. The fact is, when we feel attracted to someone, we consciously or unconsciously try to move closer to them because their presence feels good to us.
Here's the trick: When you've hit a “high note” in the interaction, for example you're both laughing at a joke, take a slight step backward or lean back in your seat to create more space between you and your date.
Your date will unconsciously sense the space you just created and will (consciously or unconsciously) want to move closer to you. This will create a bit of a chase dynamic, and increase their attraction to you.
3. Don't Cross Your Arms
Arms crossed in front of the chest is a universal signal that the person is not comfortable with the given situation. It's an unconscious attempt to block out what we perceive as a threat, and protect our vital organs from being injured. Keep your eyes open, and you'll see it everywhere. You'll see it in elevators, cafeteria lines or anywhere where people feel uncertain or insecure.
To your date, crossed arms can communicate nervousness, negativity and defensiveness. To them, it will feel like a shield. Instead, rest your arms at your sides or, if seated, rest your hands in your lap or on the table. This will make you seem much more open and friendly.
4. Show Your Hands
We love seeing people's hands. Studies have shown that when we aren't able to see another person's hands, we have more trouble trusting them. We're naturally on edge. This is a relic of our dangerous, ancient past.
Whenever primitive tribes met, they would hold their arms out with their palms exposed to show that no weapons were being held or concealed. This is where the custom of shaking hands comes from.
By showing your hands, especially showing open palms, you are subconsciously communicating to your date that you are open, and that they can be open with you. This will increase your attractiveness, and help to make them feel more comfortable around you.
5. Don't Hunch Your Shoulders
Nerves and stress create tension in our bodies that often show up in our shoulders and neck area. Hunched shoulders during a date can communicate nervousness and discomfort, which may cause your date to start feeling the same way.
By keeping your shoulders relaxed, you will appear more cool and confident, making you more attractive. Before your date, do some shoulder rolls or massage your shoulder muscles to help relive any tension
The common thread when it comes to body language is not merely to project confidence, but also to relax and project relaxation and comfort. So the next time you're on a date, remember these helpful tips so you and your date can get to know each other in an open, comfortable way.