Kylah Benes-Trapp

Should You Be Offended If Your SO Doesn't Know Your Birthday By Heart?


I often get frantic texts from friends telling me how incredibly offended they are by something the guy they're seeing did. It's usually a weird, small thing that's driving them absolutely insane, but they're not sure if it's actually a big enough deal to be going this crazy over, so they ask all their friends what to do. I call it the "Am I being crazy?" convo.

You know the convo I'm talking about. It's the one where you're very clearly so offended by whatever small thing has happened, but that little rational part of you knows this isn't necessarily the biggest thing in the world. So you wonder, "Should I be offended by this?"

Obviously, the answer to this question is "yes." If you're feeling something, you should let yourself feel it. More than that, you should be able to be honest with your significant other about what's offending you without worrying about whether or not you "should" be feeling that way.

But that truth doesn't stop us from freaking out and asking all of our friends whether or not our offense is merited. So, I've decided to streamline this process for you with my new weekly column, "Should You Be Offended?"

It's like the group text you send out to all of your friends, but way better because it's with way more people.

For the very first issue of "Should You Be Offended?" we're going to take on the question of whether or not you should be offended if the person you're seeing doesn't know your birthday by heart. I'm talking like, the day of your birthday, he's calling you and getting you a gift, but maybe the only reason he's doing that is because Facebook gave him a reminder.

We asked 50 respondents, aged 19 to 31, to tell us how offended they think you should be based on how long you've been dating.

For couples who have been together for one month or less, a whopping 94 percent of respondents agreed that you should not be offended. The large majority (58 percent) of respondents agreed that there's still no room to be offended even after one to three months of dating.

Three to six months together is where things started to get a little blurry, with 50 percent of respondents agreeing that you should be somewhat offended, and a close 40 percent saying that you should definitely be offended. Only 10 percent of respondents thought that there was no reason to be offended at this point.

After six months, people's opinions started to change immensely. Between six months and a year together, 82 percent of respondents agreed that you definitely should be offended.

By a year or more of dating, a whopping 96 percent of respondents agreed that you should definitely be offended.

Again, if you're offended, IT'S OK TO FEEL THAT WAY. And if you're with the right person, you should be able to express how you feel without being embarrassed.

But if you really want to know what other people think, well, here it is for you.