Last night, my friend Rachel was discussing her upcoming birthday party at a girls' dinner, and I asked if her ex-boyfriend was going to come. They still keep in touch and talk here and there, so how am I to know if he's coming or not? Well, when she told the group he wasn't invited, someone said, "Thank god, because I can't stand to be around him again."
Why would she say that? Because that's what happens when your boyfriend and best friend hate each other.
Hating your friend's boyfriend is nothing new. I mean, Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha hating Mr. Big practically had its own plot line on Sex and the City.
BFFs and BFs have a long history of sometimes being at war with each other. They both love and want the best for you in different ways, and sometimes, that can incite a lot of competition and jealousy.
If you're in the same boat, and your best friend and boyfriend hate each other, then you know some of these struggles all too well.
1. They Badmouth Each Other
If your boyfriend and your BFF hate each other, you're probably going to have to endure them talking sh*t about each other all the time, which can strain your relationships when you constantly have to come to the defense of people you love and care about.
If this is the case, you may not be able to get through a girls' night without your ladies roasting your partner, or without your boyfriend constantly poking fun at your best friend's dating life and thirsty Instagram photos.
How do you counteract that? Enact a strict "no badmouthing" policy where neither your SO nor your BFF can talk badly about the other to you. If there's something they need to discuss, they can hash it out between themselves.
2. They Won't Hang Out Together
Once you're in a serious relationship, you usually want to blend your worlds together. Group hangs! Dinner parties! Camping trips! Days at the beach! Game nights!
But if your BFF and your partner hate each other, then those group hangs are not really an option. Unfortunately, when your friends hate your partner, you have to keep your life separated. In turn, that can be a bummer for your friends, your relationship, and a major stress for you when it comes to scheduling. Can't everyone just get along?
3. Their Fighting Feels Like Flirting
Um, do you guys hate each other, or are you in love?
After a while of nonstop fighting and bickering, your BFF and BF may start to sound less like enemies and more like an old, married couple. You begin to question if maybe they're covering up something or if their hatred stems from unresolved feelings for one another.
Why do they feel so passionately about each other? Do you guys secretly hook up? What's going on?
If your significant other and best friend have ever disliked each other, you know at some point you've questioned if things are not what they seem.
4. You Have To Choose Sides
They say partners come and go, while friendships are forever. But what do you do if you think your SO is your forever person? Stay by their side? And isn't it kind of immature to just side with your friend for no reason, especially if their anger is unjustified?
If a fight between your SO and BFF escalates, you could have to intervene, in which case, you risk losing either a relationship or a close friendship. My advice is to stay out of the battle, and let them fight it out themselves.
If your partner and your BFF hate each other, ask yourself, does it really matter anyway? Look at the justification behind it. Does your best friend have a good reason to dislike your partner? Is it just rooted in jealousy? Maybe they just miss you.
If your partner is cheating or if they're emotionally or physically abusive, then your best friend probably has good reason to dislike your relationship. But otherwise, your boyfriend is not their business.
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