First dates are unpredictable.
More often than not, first dates end up being catastrophic disasters, as you both leave exhausted over the fact that you just spent the last two hours pretending to be people you're not.
We all do it.
We show the most put-together side of ourselves on first dates because we've been taught not to scare the other person away with how weird we actually are.
News flash: You're fooling no one when you act like you're totally normal and have your sh*t together.
In the wise words of Hannah Montana, "nobody's perfect, I gotta work it."
So cut the bullsh*t of being your best "first date self" and cut to the chase.
After all, nobody goes out on dates to meet the perfect version of someone. People go on dates to see if they can fall in love with the weirdest and quirkiest version of someone.
So instead of wasting both your time and your date's by being the fake version of yourself, try jumping right in and revealing your strange qualities. You're bound to enjoy yourself.
On the off chance you don't, you still have a hilarious story to tell your friends.
Trust me. You will quickly weed out those with potential from those who aren't worth your time.
1. Skip the small talk.
First date conversation topics are always pretty lame and frankly, extremely painful.
As fun as it is to talk about your college majors, where you went to summer camp and how much traffic you sat in to get there, dates are not meant for pointless chit-chat. They're meant for learning more about the person you're with.
Sharing surface-level information can only get you so far in life. So take the first date as an opportunity to explore the other person on a different level.
It's a lot more fascinating to hear about the extraordinary. Take a chance and be your wacky self.
He or she can take it or leave it.
2. Quirks are attractive.
Despite popular belief, it's endearing to share your oddities. It's even more charming when you know you're weird as f*ck, and still embrace it.
Your date will respect the hell out of you if you show him or her you are confident in being eccentric.
You will be more unique, intriguing and enchanting if you own your bizarreness. If you're afraid of sharing too much about yourself because you think he or she won't call after the first date, you honestly dodged a bullet.
He or she clearly couldn't handle your personality anyway. You should consider yourself lucky you didn't waste any more time on him or her.
Humans were not created to stay inside a box. It's much more enthralling to color outside the lines.
3. Nobody wants to date a plain Jane.
We don't date people due to how good they look on paper. We date people because they fascinate us and challenge us.
We date people to discover what's beneath their surfaces, and we can only do that by being real and genuine.
Life is too short to worry about disclosing too much of your weird side on the first date. Just like Oscar Wilde said, "Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."
Nobody falls in love after seeing someone at his or her peak.
People fall in love after seeing their significant others at their worst. They still loved every bit of what they saw.
Be kooky. You will be much more unforgettable that way.
4. First dates are first impressions, so make a good one.
Take advantage of the fact that a first date means you get a completely fresh start with a total stranger.
You have the ability to be genuine right off the bat. There will be no bullsh*t, games or pretending to be something you are not.
Don't try to get the person to like you. That will become dangerous, as your date could end up liking the first date version of you instead of the real you.
It'll only come back to bite you in the ass when he or she finds out you're a total nutcase on the fourth date.
Make an impression by being weird and dorky. You won't regret it.
You just might be pleasantly surprised at how much someone can love your quirks. Find someone who likes you precisely because of your weirdness.
The full disclosure of your dorky side will allow you to meet someone who sincerely likes you for you and not for your "first date self."
Who knows? Maybe the person you're on a date with is just as strange as you are, and now, you've both found your perfect goofball match.
It only took one date.