Becca Tilley’s Quote About Not Labeling Her Sexuality Is Powerful
“I think my story is different from other people.”
Things are looking rosy for Bachelor alum Becca Tilley. Back in 2019, she revealed she was in a new relationship, but chose to keep the details private until recently. Following her appearance in Hayley Kiyoko’s “For The Girls” music video, Tilley confirmed that she was in a relationship with the singer on May 20. But before you go labeling her, don’t. In a May 23 podcast episode of her Scrubbing In podcast, Tilley said that she wasn’t putting a label on her sexuality, and her reasoning makes so much sense.
During the episode, Tilley explained why she doesn’t feel a need to give herself a label, and her quote is super powerful. Apparently, for her, assigning a label to her sexuality just never made sense. “I think my story is different from other people. This isn't something, like, I personally navigated my whole life. When I look back at things, like — I loved Kate Winslet and Leonardo [DiCaprio] in Titanic and I loved Joey and Pacey in Dawson's Creek, you know?” Can’t blame her! There’s nothing like a Dawson’s Creek sexual awakening.
“When I met Hayley that was the first time I had that specifically for a woman,” Tilley added. Unlike her sisters who have “never had that attraction to men” and are “very confident” in their identity, Tilley is still navigating what her sexuality means to her and how to label it... if she ever even chooses to.
Before going public with her romance, Tilley actually had some nerves about what this would mean for her. “Leading up to this point, I was like, ‘Oh, my gosh, I’m gonna have to address, like, my sexuality, my label.’ I've never connected with that,” Tilley said.
Tilley’s feelings aren’t exactly uncommon. “For some of us, the idea of finding a name or category that fits how we feel can feel burdensome — even impossible,” sex educator Anne Hodder-Shipp, ACS, previously told Bustle. “What matters more than anything else is how connected you feel to yourself and your sense of identity, and there's no word, label, or category that can do that for you.” In 2019, a study published in the Journal of Research on Adolescence found that 24% of LGBTQ+ youth (ages 13-17) surveyed identify with nontraditional labels. Over time, as society becomes more accepting of the LGBTQ+ community, the study expects these nontraditional labels to become more popular across all generations.
Of course, everyone has a different ~journey~, whether they’re in Bachelor Nation or not. Tilley’s partner Kiyoko has opened up about her own experiences, and they could not be more different. Called the “Lesbian Jesus” by her fans, she doesn’t seem to mind labels, and she’s very open about her sexuality. In a 2018 interview with Rolling Stone, Kiyoko revealed that she knew she was attracted to girls at age 6.
No matter how her label (or non-label), I’m on Team Tilley.