Attention Deficit Dating: What To Know When Dating A Woman With ADD
Some women follow recipes, maintain immaculate closets and make important entries in their diaries, which they write in regularly.
I am not one of these women. I am a part of the 4-6 percent of the US population who has attention deficit disorder.
Being plagued with distractions is something I have accepted. At any given moment, my mind goes in a multitude of directions.
I am perpetually bored, incapable of sitting still and utterly afraid in every sense of the word.
With this said, I understand possessing the attention span of a puppy makes maintaining relationships incredibly challenging.
After all, how can a person who cannot focus on a single task manage to focus on a single person?
Let me tell you, it’s f*cking difficult.
Women who have ADD are a special breed of the already-tortuous female race. We are emotional, unpredictable, impulsive and more fun than you can possibly imagine.
If you have fallen for a woman who has ADD, I don’t know whether to congratulate you or commiserate with you. After all, being the primary focus of this woman’s affection is an accomplishment in itself.
If she has deemed you the object of her attention, affection and focus, you must have a few tricks up your sleeve.
A woman with ADD requires someone who will challenge her, excite her and keep her on her restless toes.
While playing games in the name of romance is generally frowned upon, it may be a beneficial tactic to keep her intrigued.
However, if you fail to give this woman the devotion she expects, she will be on to the next suitor before you have time to fumble for an apology. So, how does one date this sort of creature? Here are a few tips:
Don’t be insulted when she doesn’t appear to be paying attention to you.
You need to accept that your girlfriend will regularly appear distracted.
Although you may be the center of her universe, she is well aware the rest of the world is still spinning, and she doesn’t intend to miss out on any of it.
Moreover, when you tell her about your day and she flips open her laptop to see what’s trending on the Internet, it doesn’t mean she is disinterested in what you have to say.
Your voice may be her favorite background noise as she catches up on the World Wide Web.
People with ADD may be wonderful multi-taskers or terrible multi-taskers; either way, we will multitask.
When your girlfriend fails to give you the undivided attention you crave, keep in mind she probably can’t help it.
For her, concentrating on one thing may be as excruciating as staring into the sun. Also, try not to take her tendency for diversion personally.
If she thought you were boring, she wouldn’t be dating you in the first place.
Be prepared for change at any moment.
So, you have plans to try a new restaurant and one hour before your reservation, your girlfriend calls and asks you to make a trip to the store for snacks and booze because she wants to host a game night, instead.
You can either get distressed about the fact you made dinner reservations weeks in advance or you can go with the flow, buy a cheeseboard, a bottle of scotch and race over for an impromptu evening of recreation with friends.
Change is inevitable, and in a relationship with someone who has ADD, change will be frequent.
People who resolve to follow strict schedules and meticulously concocted life plans will struggle with this aspect of the relationship the most.
For those particular individuals, it is important to note spontaneity can be the spice of life if you trust the unpremeditated process.
Your girlfriend may compulsively flip through channels on television or change the song on the radio, but her discontent with other things does not apply to your relationship.
See through the clutter.
In college, my best friend and I had a something we referred to as “closet mountain.”
Closet mountain quickly became an inside joke amongst our friends and eventually evolved into a place where people would check in on Facebook.
What was closet mountain? Essentially, it was a pile of clothes, which ranged in cleanliness and had accumulated throughout many sessions of getting ready.
Numerous women with ADD have their own pile of clothes, from the endless crusade of getting dressed.
Whether or not the pile of clothes doubles as a tourist attraction depends on the particular female.
A cluttered mind often leads to a cluttered disposition. Your girlfriend, and her clothes, will be all over the place.
She will change outfits more times than you can count, lose her keys, get frustrated with everything, then make you an hour late for wherever you need to go.
Things will take her a little longer. From understanding concepts to making decisions, her mind just works a little differently.
Adopting the patience she lacks will benefit your relationship tremendously.
Take her to a show.
Avoid the confinement of a movie theater and take your girlfriend to a concert or a music festival.
Live music is one of the best activities to engage in because it appeals to all of the senses.
You can listen to music, dance, imbibe and enjoy the visual performance.
At a music festival, you have the advantage of multiple stages and activities to choose from, and trust me, your lady will make you experience all of them.
Women with ADD thrive in these environments, so let her run free like an overly-caffeinated gazelle.
She isn’t a child who you can keep on a leash at Disneyland.
If a concert environment isn’t her scene, comedy shows or dinner theaters may be good options so long as they aren’t too lengthy and the acts display some versatility.
Just keep in mind that if you volunteer to take her on a conventional movie date, you may as well shoot yourself in the foot. Good previews and popcorn won't cut it.
Now that you understand the necessity of taking initiative when it comes to entertaining a woman who has ADD, you must assume the same ingenuity is expected in all other facets of the relationship.
Next, it is crucial to comprehend that if “ADD” were an adjective, one of its definitions would include, “Persistently stultified and irritated with anything and everything.”
In other words, you have an incredulous task at hand, but hey, you already knew that. It is time to put on your metaphorical thinking cap and get creative as f*ck.
If you want to make your woman fall head over heels, you need to be an enterprising individual.
Bring your creativity to the bedroom. Make an effort to invite her into situations that take you both out of your comfort zones. Surprise her even if she dully claims to “hate” surprises.
Essentially, it all relates back to the idea of having “tricks up your sleeve.” If you strive to be the David Copperfield of romance, this woman will be yours.
Be open to giving and receiving love.
While your girlfriend may seem unattached and painfully indifferent, ultimately, she is like a fine bottle of champagne waiting to be broken in for an emotional celebration.
When she opens up, there is no going back. Women with ADD love intensely.
Our lack of regard for most things is made up for when we find something about which we truly care.
Whether we are pursuing a new hobby or indulging a relationship, we may quickly become consumed with emotional preoccupation.
If you are open to this overwhelming sort of love, you are in for an adventure.
Loving someone with ADD is like getting stuck on a roller coaster. It’s nauseating, rare and wonderful. Likewise, the experience makes up for the potentially gut-wrenching effects.
Understand her struggle.
On the surface, women with ADD may be percolating with confidence; however, in reality, we are often engaged in concealed internal battles.
Attention Deficit Disorder is a very real and agonizing condition.
Sufferers may feel as if they are victims of their own minds and trapped in a persistent state of incapacitation.
Understanding this side of a person with ADD is critical for emotional growth in a relationship.
Despite your girlfriend always appearing to be the life of the party, she is just as threatened by fluctuations in social situations as anyone else.
For a person with ADD, anything can be an unexpected source of perturbation.
Your girlfriend may be temperamental and difficult to read simply because she is struggling.
Being a source of comfort is one of the most romantic things you can do for her.