So many guys are eager for anal sex. Why? Maybe they're curious. Maybe they think everyone else is doing it. Maybe they want to tick it off their list. Maybe they saw it while watching porn, and now want to reenact the scene. Maybe they find it super arousing to know that you're interested in doing this with him.
Whatever the reason, keep in mind that there is a right way and a wrong way to learn how to prepare for anal sex with your man for first time.
Having anal sex can potentially be a nightmarish situation, especially if your guy doesn't understand your physiology. This in-depth guide will teach you everything you need to know about having anal sex with him that is pain-free, fun and highly pleasurable for both of you.
1. Test It Out Alone
My advice is to try anal masturbation to help you learn how anal sex feels. Testing it out alone also helps ensure it won't be too painful, and that you can enjoy it. Start with a single finger that has a short, filed nail.
You then need to add some lube because the anus and back passage doesn't produce its own lubrication like the vagina does. If you don't use lube, you could tear something inside your anus and cause a bunch of discomfort. Plus, the lube will make sliding your finger in and out feel better. You'll need to keep adding more lubricant as it dries out if you are using a water based one.
Whatever you do, if it starts to feel bad or uncomfortable, you can always slow down, and you might need to add more lube at this time as well.
You need to start slowly. Your sphincter muscles, which are responsible for keeping in your poop, need to be relaxed first. Don't just stick in your lubed finger. Start by gently massaging the area around the opening so that you spread the lube around and get used to the sensations.
Warning: Never touch your clitoris or vagina with the finger that was just in your anus. You'll spread bacteria and can get an infection by doing so. Wash your hands thoroughly first.
2. Prepare My Making Sure You're Clean
One vital, and often overlooked, tip when learning how to prepare for anal sex is it's best if you have a bowel movement beforehand. I'm guessing you don't want any surprises to happen during the act, so I can't recommend this enough. Also, clean the external area around your anus with warm soap and water. You could also wipe the area clean using baby wipes. You might also wish to remove any hair around your anus by shaving or waxing it off, but that comes down to personal preference.
Although you don't need to clean inside your anus, too, this anal sex tip is something you might want to do. You can use an enema with warm (not hot) water to clean inside. You would keep filling your rectum with water and then passing it into the toilet until the water comes out clean.
3. He Needs To Take It Slow
When having anal sex for the first time, he needs to start slowly as he is entering your anus. He can speed up later, but that needs to be your call. He should start slow by only going in a tiny bit of the way, and then he should stop and wait for you to tell him when he can keep going. You need some time to adjust to the feeling. Once your muscles have started to relax, go ahead and let him go a bit further inside. Take your time with this. By not rushing, you'll both be able to have a much more enjoyable experience.
A really good way to have anal sex for the first time is to get your man to remain still while you push back on him (in the doggy style position), or while you sit down on him (in the cowgirl position). This way you can remain in almost complete control.
4. Get Aroused
If you view anal sex as something horrendous and unpleasurable before even trying it, then you're more likely to have a bad time. However, if you can get yourself aroused beforehand and even orgasm, then anal sex going to be a lot more fun, as it will help you to relax more easily to allow for penetration. So, having regular sex first before anal is a good option.
5. Use Lube
This anal sex tip is important and hopefully very obvious: You will need to use a water-based lube. Oil-based lubes will degrade a condom, and you will definitely want him to use a condom.
Lube is important because as we mentioned earlier, your rectum doesn't get wet like your vagina does. The lube should go both on the condom, and all around your anal opening.
Keep in mind that water-based lube will dry out after a while, so it's important to keep reapplying it. Otherwise, it will start to become painful for you, and could even cause some tearing. As you the lube starts to dry out, you should get a burning feeling. The solution is to just apply some more lube.
6. Communication Is Important
Your man needs to be on the same page as you are. So, let him know the "rules" you might have before you begin. You might wish to give him verbal cues about whether to slow down, stop, put on more lube, etc. Or, you might rely on having him watch your expression to know whether you are in pain or are finding what he's doing pleasurable.
To give you an idea of how important good communication is to pleasurable anal sex, this girl got "surprised" with anal sex by her man, and she was in tears from the pain.
If you don't like to initiate talk during sex, have him continually check in with you to see how you're doing. You both need to stay connected during anal sex to make sure it's a good experience for both of you. Now that we've covered the boring part of how to prepare for anal sex, let's learn how to make it more pleasurable.
This anal sex tip has you pre-stretching your anus by loosening it up with a butt plug. You can put in the butt plug yourself, or he can put it in for you. Butt plugs both help you feel the pleasures of anal sex, and help relax your muscles before the act. You need to use lube with butt plugs just as you will when you have anal sex.
8. Choose A Good Position
Doggy style is good for anal sex. You might not feel comfortable with this for your first time, however, because your partner won't be able to see your face to gauge how deep or how fast he should go. You would need to feel super comfortable talking him through each step when you're in doggy style.
A position that gives you more control is to sit on his lap, just as you would during cowgirl. This gives you more control over how fast and how far the penetration is. If doggy or cowgirl aren't your cup of tea, here are 19 more anal sex positions to try out so you can find the perfect position for you.
9. Double Penetrate Yourself
Use a dildo or vibrator on yourself while he's having anal sex with you. Although some women can orgasm from anal alone, most times, they need other forms of stimulation to climax. Using a dildo or a vibrator on yourself while having anal sex is a great way to ensure you and your man are both having a good time.
10. About Numbing Creams
Numbing creams can potentially be a terrible idea when preparing for anal sex. Pain is your body's way of telling you there is something wrong. And these numbing/desensitizing creams don't even help you relax.
So, you won't be relaxed, but he can penetrate you anyway because you won't feel what would probably be pain if you weren't using the cream. Damage could be happening and you won't know it … until later.
My advice is to never use numbing creams.
11. Give Your Man Anal Sex
You can give your man anal sex by wearing a strap-on. It's called pegging. This way, he knows what it feels like, and it will help him learn how to prepare for anal sex with you. He might really enjoy this because you're reaching his prostate, a walnut-sized gland about two inches inside his rectum. And that feels good to guys when it's stimulated.
This might also be fun for you as you switch gender roles. You can experience what it's like to be in power and in control of your man. But just as he took it slowly with you, making sure everything was good before moving on, you should do the same with him.
Anal sex can be a huge amount of fun if you prepare properly, and do it with a partner who is respectful and listens to your feedback. After all, he is the one who needs to understand how to make anal sex pleasurable, and not painful.
You might not have the perfect anal sex experience the first time you try it. But if this is something both you and your man think you would like to add to your sexual repertoire, then remember it will only get better the more times you do it. You can learn more anal sex tips and techniques in this guide.