Alone, But Not Forever: 7 Reasons I Love Being Single In My 20s
As I navigate through my 20s as a single woman in a large pool of other single men, I have become harshly aware that single life is just so much more fun than the alternative scenario.
And I am not one of those horrible cynics who sh*ts on love every chance she gets. I have been in love (three times to be exact), and each one was a horrible, all-consuming love that took over my life and transformed me into a scary, obsessed version of myself who always put her partner's needs in front of her own.
Now that I am 25, seasoned in dating and just coming off two failed relationships this year, I have some advice for you fellow single ladies: Your 20s are the best time to be single AF.
You should be out there, meeting new people, going on lots of dates and seeing exactly what is right and wrong you. As humans, we learn through trial and error, so how could you possibly know what you want if you only stick with one experience your whole life?
Maybe that makes me promiscuous, but I would much rather date a bunch of different types of men and risk getting my heart broken a hundred times over than stay in a boring, comfortable relationship because I'm too scared to see what else is out there.
So here are the seven reasons why you should be severely single in your mid- and late-20s:
1. Your brain isn't fully developed until you are 25 years old
This was a very recent discovery of mine. If our brains aren't even fully developed, why on earth are we committing to people at such a young and naive age?
If you're telling me, scientifically speaking, that my brain is going to continue growing and changing until I hit 25, why tie myself down? If I'm going to grow and change mentally, I think I should do that by myself, not drag someone along for the ride.
If I wake up one day with a mental epiphany while in a relationship, I could end up seriously hurting someone I love. So, I'm going to be single and have fun while my brain does all its developing.
2. You get to go out and do you
Okay, so this one is a no-brainer. If you are a young 20-something, why the f*ck wouldn't you want to be out on the prowl? I'm sorry, but ever since I made this self-discovery, I have become a total man eater, and I f*ckng love it!
I was treated like sh*t for far too long in my previous relationships, and now it's my turn to do some questionable things in the dating world.
If I want to go out and flirt with a bunch of guys at the bar and leave with three numbers, you best believe I will.
If I want to climb up on the bar and dance "Coyote Ugly" style, I can.
If I want to let someone take a tequila shot from my navel and a lime from my mouth, I will very well do so.
There is literally nothing holding you back when you are single, and the world is your oyster. So go out and have a ball! Parade around town, crossing things off your bucket list left and right.
One day, you will be married and have kids, and at least you'll be able to look back and say, "Damn, I was fun once upon a time."
3. There is no one to report back to
With my ex-boyfriend, I couldn't do half of the things I used to. And when I did anything even remotely “wild,” my boyfriend shamed me for it.
He was totally comfortable with going out and having a boys' night without me, but whenever I wanted to go have a girls' night, or get a glass of wine at a restaurant bar by myself, I was being selfish.
Well, guess what?
Single Brianna doesn't have to ask anybody's permission to do anything, and she doesn't have anybody shaking his head at her when she crawls into bed at 2:30 am after a night of one too many tequila shots with the ladies.
If I love someone and make a commitment to him, I am never going to cheat on him. So why the f*ck can't a guy get that through his head and just trust me?
Oh, that's right. It's because they have penises and know that every guy at the bar could give two sh*ts whether or not I have a boyfriend. I just don't have time for that type of insecurity. I'd rather be single than deal with one more second of that bullsh*t.
4. You can live with roommates until you're 30
Growing up, I loved watching “Friends” with my mom and best friends. I didn't really watch it religiously or truly get into it until I was older, but I remember thinking I wanted to be just like them. I wanted to live with my best friends, until it was socially unacceptable to continue on doing so.
Basically, the cast of “Friends” were all roommates with someone in that circle of friends, until that person got married or popped a kid out. And guess what? I am 25, live with three roommates and love it!
Everyone ranges between the age of 25 and 41, and we all coincide pretty melodically. Nobody is really around enough to bother one another, but when we are all home, we tend to sit down and have great conversations with one another.
At my age, I see many of my friends taking that next step with their boyfriends and moving in together. I have nothing against that.
I think if you are serious about someone and are headed down the path of spending your lives together, you should definitely test the waters of marriage and move in together before actually tying the knot.
But for me, I just love living with my girlfriend and guy friends, and I enjoy being a walk down the hall away. It makes for some extremely deep conversations and incredibly fun nights in.
5. You can do some serious sexual healing
Be single, and explore your body throughout your 20s. Let me tell you something sad and pathetic: My first “big O” didn't happen until I was 23 years old. I had never spent enough time with another partner to really figure out our bodies together.
And now that I know what that feels like, I'm never giving that sh*t up! So, do some soul searching, and figure out what you want.
F*ck what everyone else thinks. As long as you are being safe and taking the necessary precautions to prevent pregnancy and STDs, don't let anyone make you feel like you're being a slut for simply exploring your options. Live it up while you're young and still can!
6. You can get drunk AF
Once again, you don't have a boyfriend telling you what you can and can not do. You want to take 10 tequila shots and get carried into your house? Hey, that's your prerogative.
You can get sh*tfaced and not have someone judge you for it. I personally don't like getting completely blacked out anymore (mostly because I am not as good at drinking as I was at the ripe age of 18, and my hangovers are god-awful these days).
But every now and then, I go out and have a great time. Maybe I have one too many drinks, and maybe I call every ex-boyfriend in my contacts, but who the f*ck cares?
If I had fun while doing it, then that's all that matters. Let's just hope that eventually, my drunk ass blocks or deletes their numbers so that I don't completely embarrass myself.
7. You can basically be Peter Pan
I'm not saying to never grow up, but be young and dumb and have fun for as long as you possibly can. There are only so many more years left where you can get away with it and not be called a cat lady.
I truly believe that at this age, we are “sometimes adults,” meaning we are responsible with our finances (most the time), we keep roofs over our heads, and we are professionals working 9 to 5 jobs.
So, why not take advantage of the little free time we do have to do anything and everything we want to do?
If you wanted to go sky diving tomorrow, you could! If you wanted to take a spontaneous vacation to another country and use up that PTO you've been saving up, you wouldn't have to ask anyone's permission to do so.
You could literally pack your bag, book a flight and leave the next day if you really felt like being adventurous.
So, go and embark on as many adventures as you can, while the only person holding you back is yourself. The world is so beautiful and vast, and there is so much out there for you to see. Don't wait for a companion to get out of your comfort zone and see the world.
In my opinion, this single period of my life has been the best experience to date. I have been given the opportunity to really figure myself out. I like to call this time my “year of Brianna” because in all honesty, I don't think I ever truly knew who I was until I experienced a few heartbreaks that brought me back down to reality.
Pain is only temporary, and becoming self-aware is the biggest accomplishment anyone could ever make. Enjoy your alone time, and seize the opportunity to travel, date around and make new friends.
One day, in the distant future, you will probably get married and have some babies, and then it won't be so easy to just do whatever you please.
Seize the day! Live your life in color!