In this day and age, it's rare to confidently know where you stand with a hookup. From mind games to texting, every single aspect of hooking up with someone has become about winning and losing.
People are scared to say how they feel because that means they lose, and who wants to lose when you can win?
But sadly, no one ever wins in these types of situations; we become frustrated and annoyed, since, more often than not, we find ourselves remaining stagnant rather than making progress.
This inevitably leads to the hookup fizzling out, as both parties seemingly lose interest in one another because neither had the courage to put his or her feelings out on the table.
Thus, you're back to square one, confused and rightfully pissed off. But honestly, the only person you have to blame at the end of this vicious cycle is yourself. As much as we vow to learn from these terrible mistakes, we seldom do.
What are the types of guys that leave you feeling this way? It can be roughly summed up in these types:
The one who only calls you when he's drunk
"But he still called..."
"At least he's thinking of me..."
Women tend to make excuses for the guys they like, regardless if it makes sense or not. If a guy is only contacting you when he's intoxicated, there is only one thing he wants, and that is to get laid.
I don't care what rationalizations you create in your mind; this is absolutely the only thing this guy wants from you.
If he truly cares about what you're doing and wants to see you on any given night, he will contact you when his mental state isn't clouded by seven-and-a-half vodka sodas.
The one who stopped texting you for no reason
Obviously there was a reason for him to fall off the face of the earth, but, unfortunately, you will never know. Sure, you could ask for an explanation, but A) do you really want to know?; B) you lose.
Regardless if you figure out the reasoning or not, you won't be receiving any closure, since that comes from within you, not from someone else.
There is nothing you can do at this point except to chalk it up as a loss and vow to never pull a similar stunt.
The one who never lets you sleep over
This a pretty big telltale sign that you are nothing more than a piece of ass to this guy. If he genuinely wants to pursue more serious territory, he'll keep you around come the morning.
If you don't feel welcome spending the night, or he outwardly tells you it's a no-go, well, you already know what you should be doing. Stop wasting your precious, valuable time.
The one who constantly hits you up and flakes... every single time
Why does this guy still try to make plans with you? It's not as if the effort isn't there; it is, rather, the followthrough that is missing. He proposes all of these great and elaborate ideas, but when it comes time to execute, he flakes.
The first time this happened, fine; things happen and plans get canceled. When it happens repeatedly, though, you have to realize that this is a fault on his end and not yours.
Sure, it's confusing because, why put in effort in the first place? But, it is what it is and the sooner you realize that, the better off you will be.
The one who apparently has a girlfriend
While telling your friend about this great new guy you've been seeing, you can't help but notice the look of disgust that comes across her face as you reveal his name.
You immediately stop mid-sentence because you know there is something she needs to tell you.
Her look says it all; you know this guy is no good. She is about to let you in on a little secret that is most definitely going to ruin your day and your self-esteem: He has a girlfriend.
The one who won't commit
He does everything a boyfriend would do except take the plunge and refer to himself as such. You are more exclusive than not as you accompany one another to dated events and even stay in together regularly. But for some reason, he just won't take that extra step.
Your friends try to point this out to you, but their efforts go unappreciated, and thus, you end up making excuse after excuse for his behavior. Unfortunately, the longer you allow him to get away with this sort of behavior, the more acceptable he thinks it is.
Honestly, why shouldn't he keep acting this way? He is getting everything he wants out of it.
The inconsistent, random texter
This is the guy you consistently text for weeks and then is suddenly nowhere to be found. In a way, this is great because your schedule never gets interrupted, but, on the other hand, it just makes him believe this type of behavior is accepted.
This will never turn into something meaningful since neither party feels accountable to the other whatsoever. The cycle just continues, until one person finally gets sick of it or finds a better option.