What You Learn About Your Relationship When You Take Alcohol Out Of It

by Gigi Engle

When you‘re getting to know someone in a relationship, it’s pretty f*cking easy to rely on alcohol to ease the tension.

Conversation becomes a lot easier after you’ve downed a few shots.

Alcohol is the ultimate social lubricant. After a few drinks, things just become easier with your partner.

He or she suddenly becomes hotter, funnier and easier to relate with. Suddenly, you have everything in common.

It also aids in dissolving all of those pesky anxieties you might have had about yourself when sober. Both of you are more open, willing and forthcoming with personal information.

Alcohol just makes the dating experience a more comfortable one, doesn’t it?

The thing is, while getting drunk might make things simpler, it’s actually the worst thing you can do when attempting to build a strong relationship.

While drinking may make you open up about your life, your partner isn’t going to remember any of those details come sunrise.

So, really, did you even say anything at all?

What kind of healthy relationship can be born out of such an unhealthy activity?

Even though it’s definitely intimidating, you can learn a lot about your relationship and the person you’re in a relationship with if you take alcohol out of the equation.

While it’s less daunting to hit the bottle rather than really try to engage in thoughtful conversation, your relationship will thank you for staying sober.

You figure out whom you’re dealing with very quickly.

Without the guise of booze, you will find out exactly who your boyfriend or girlfriend is in real life.

You’ll soon discover if he or she is actually as funny and smart as you thought over that last, fatal martini. Without alcohol, you’ll have to figure out if you actually like this person.

Conversations might be harder, but they’re more real.

When you’re drunk, conversation flows easily. You don’t even think about what you’re saying, relieved of all of the stresses that life brings.

If you stay sober while conversing with your partner, you may be nervous, but everything you say you will actually mean.

You’re forced to really listen to him or her and digest the things he or she is saying to you. While that might be frightening, it’s much more meaningful.

You learn to get drunk on life.

Learning to love life without alcohol is never easy, but is oh so fulfilling. You shouldn’t need a substance to enjoy yourself.

After spending time together sans liquor, you learn to get drunk in a whole new way. As Queen Bey put it, you get drunk in love.

You’re forced to face your relationship rather than escape from it.

Nothing will make you face your problems like cold, hard sobriety. Instead of finding refuge in the form of alcohol, you’re thrown into your problems head on.

People have emotions, and they should be dealt with, not smothered. You know your relationship is solid if you can deal with it sober.

Who knows, you might even learn that you CAN walk in heels after all.

You have to find common interests without the aid of bar hopping.

Gasp! There is fun to be had outside of the world of drinking! If you can have fun without alcohol, you know you’re on the right track.

You’ll learn what interests your partner and vice versa.

You’ll make memories together the two of you won’t forget the next day. Share something together other than countless nights of debauchery.

You’re forced to be more intimate during sex.

Without alcohol, you don’t have the automatic free will to release your emotions. Alcohol is the key to opening you up to summon the courage to jump in the sack.

Without it, you need something to spark the mood. You’re forced to pay attention to each other’s bodies.

Things may be awkward at first, but your sex life will be so much better in the long run.

You’ll have better orgasms.

Nothing takes the wind out of your orgasmic experience like alcohol, amiright?! Without liquor, your big moment will be totally authentic (and thank God for that).

When you’re drunk, you’re just looking to get it in, not looking to get off.

You’re not nearly as vulnerable as you thought you were.

Every morning is not a time to wallow in self-pity. All of that vulnerability you feel after a hard night of drinking is suddenly nowhere to be found.

You won’t need to be taken care of because you’ll be rested and ready to take on life full force. Trust me, this is much more impressive than being able to take 10 shots in a row.

You find you’re much more inhibited than you thought.

With sobriety, come those annoying inhibitions you so strategically tossed out the door at the bar last night. While this may seem like a bad thing, it’s actually a blessing in disguise.

You need to learn your limits and truly access what you are and are not comfortable with. “Drunk You” may be fun, but she’s not making the best decisions for “Sober You.”

You learn how many secrets you’re willing to keep.

Some things are better left unsaid. Unfortunately, alcohol does not understand this concept. Of course, it’s not healthy to keep a treasure trove of secrets from your partner, but some things you need to keep to yourself for your sanity.

Taking alcohol out of your life means never saying all those things you wish you didn’t say while intoxicated.

You don’t need to hide behind something to be attractive.

You learn you’re great just being you. You build your confidence from your own brawn, not with the help of a few drinks.

You also don’t need to get your partner drunk to have him think you’re pretty, funny or interesting. If you do, that’s a serious problem because he obviously sucks.

You can get a lot more food at dinner.

Alcohol is expensive. Trading it in for MORE food is a win every single time. Plus, the more you drink, the less you eat. I hate everything about that.