10 Ways To Actually Lose A Guy In 10 Days
We've all seen the movie, in which Andie Anderson (Kate Hudson) manages to attract, repel and then attract Benjamin Barry aka Benny Boo Boo aka Matthew McConaughey, all over again.
Had there not been an elaborate double-bet plot line, it's highly unlikely that she would ever have been able to get the guy, after suffocating him, embarrassing him in front of his friends and repeatedly calling his mom after just a few days of dating.
But, times have moved on since the 2003 film, and there are new, improved and high-tech ways to lose a guy in 10 days (or 10 dates.) In fact, technology has probably made us all more psychotic, and we could turn off a guy without even knowing it.
Given that I don't think any of us wants to succeed in this, see the below as 10 things you should never, ever do within 10 days -- unless you're betting on an advertising bid or the right to choose your own article ideas, obviously.
1. Upload regular Instagram photos of the two of you
Really, there shouldn't be photographic evidence of your relationship for quite some time. The girls that have tons of photos of their new boyfriends seem lame and desperate. Also, it's all the more humiliating to be that girl, when her boyfriend subsequently breaks up with her.
Plus, who's taking these photos? Have you recruited an over-zealous friend to take candid shots? Not cool. Chances are he's going to freak if four of your dates are documented on Instagram within the first 10 days.
2. Change your Facebook status too quickly
Scratch that. Changing your Facebook status at all. You're a self-respecting, 20-something-year-old woman. What are you proving and to whom? Do you really feel the need for 1,000 of your nearest and dearest to know your dry spell is over? Or are you trying to make a point to your ex-boyfriend?
Your new relationship is really not going to get off the ground if displaying it is that important to you.
I'm willing to bet it's significantly less important and a whole lot scarier to him. You changing your relationship stats after the third date is psychotic, and he will run.
3. Ask him what he'd like for his birthday
It's July. If his birthday is next March -- hell, if his birthday's September -- it's too soon. After four, five, six dates, it's not even necessary for you to know exactly when his birthday is. Unless you believe in star signs, in which case I just can't help you.
In the film, Ben freaked out when Andie gave him a plant. So, talking cashmere sweaters is just not going to end well. Also within the first 10 dates, do not ask him when his mother or sister's birthday is, or when his brother's upcoming wedding is. Got it?
4. Suggest a Labor Day trip
Because that's still over a month away, and within 10 days, the only looking-into-the-future question you should be asking is, "Where do you want to get dinner Thursday?" If he wants to plan a trip with you, he will initiate.
In which case, you should be equally frightened. You barely know the guy. You've spent more time hanging out with your dentist.
5. Stalk him (literally)
Oh, you just happened to be having lunch right by his apartment? And how convenient that your gym (which you signed up for the day you met him...) just happens to be by his office.
These things are not subtle.
One of the problems with technology is that it's not hard to know where someone is at a given part of the day, and you could theoretically ensure you "run into" him. If you "happen" to see him 14 times in 10 days, he will not only break up with you. He will, rightfully, take out a restraining order.
6. Stalk him (electronically)
There are many forums in which you can do this within the first 10 days. Don't add or follow him on any of the following: Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn. There is no need.
Don't like his photos, don't comment, don't send him funny/cute links. Insofar as cyberspace is concerned, you do not know each other. If you add him on all four, he will be terrified and there is a good chance he'll "lose" his phone.
7. Talk about other men
For example -- were you to spend your first three dates talking about your last Tinder date, your ex-boyfriend or the merits of Hinge versus other dating apps, he would be well within his rights to run.
While he should't be your whole world, he also shouldn't be aware of the fact that you're messaging eight other guys. By all means do -- just keep that information to yourself.
8. Hate on his friends
This man will probably prefer his guy friends to you for the duration of your relationship. If you get married, you may start to overtake them around your sixth anniversary.
If you happen to meet or know any of his friends, don't criticize anything about them. Pretend you love them even if you don't, and make sure they love you. The second you start bitching about them is the second he mentally prepares not to call you.
9. Write about him
On your personal blog, in a text to a friend you accidentally send to him... on Elite Daily. Steer clear of any electronic reference to him, at least until the 12th date mark. If he comes across any reference to him on social media, he will freak.
Yes, Carrie Bradshaw did it, but we're not all narcissistic serial daters with an unrealistic salary for a journalist. So, don't.
10. Don't Google him
There's a good chance he'll never find out you did this, but there's something so sad about it. It's so calculated, so cynical and cold and jaded.
It ruins romance when you know where he was born and what his parents do for a living before your first date. Wait to find it out yourself.
Admittedly, Googling alone won't make you lose him. However, if he happens to use your computer on the fourth date, to check what movie to see on the fifth, and finds his name in your browsing history -- He.Will.Freak.
Photo Courtesy: Fanpop