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A Girl Can Dream: How I'd Craft The Perfect Boyfriend If I Had The Chance

Science has endlessly advanced over the years, yet for some reason, I still can’t clone Justin Timberlake and marry his hot twin, therefore concluding my search for the perfect boyfriend.

Since science has only seemed to disappoint me, in addition to my lack of monetary funding for such a project, my search for a male companion continues to drag on for what seems like infinity.

You see, ever since I popped out of the womb, it seems that I can’t really find what one believes to be a “perfect boyfriend.”

What is that, some kind of toy developed in China? Does it need AA batteries? Does it require tuneups? Does it come with an instruction manual so I can stop publicly asking these ridiculous questions and at least avoid any further humiliation?

I feel as if I am deprived of the experience of engaging in true love with what I would consider, in my eyes and heart, the perfect boyfriend. Cupid must be getting tired because his aim with these love arrows is clearly not as on target as they could be.

If only I could invent a 3D printer that understands exactly what it is I want, plug in all of the dimensions and pop out my own Dr. Frankenstein-like creation. Then, and only then, does it seem I could finally meet my ideal partner.

Or, if only I would stumble across a genie who would grant me my three main wishes in life: 1) an endless supply of Chipotle burritos, 2) the ability to transform into a mermaid at the snap of my fingers and finally, 3) my own perfect boyfriend who loves my imperfect self, perfectly.

Or, if only I could create my own version of an Easy-Bake oven, channel my inner Rachael Ray and whip up just the right ingredients to create a man that would be just as wild, passionate and romantic as I am. Then, this crazy, unpredictable phenomenon we call dating would finally come to an end.

I’ve been taken on plenty of dates -- actually, some really fun ones. I’ve been mini golfing, food tasting and even movie hopping. Initially, I was wooed by these men, but after digging deeper and getting to know who they really were, I realized they weren't necessarily for me. They didn't seem to fulfill all of the requirements on the checklist of traits.

Now you may ask, "Checklist? What checklist?" Let me (attempt to) enlighten you.

Now I know, from a person who has never been fully immersed in love, why would one continue reading? Well, I've encountered my fair share of heartbreaks, let downs and scums of the earth, and as if that's enough, I've seen the pain my friends and family have coped with as a result of some awful (in)significant others.

So, conclusively, what blend of personality traits is it exactly that women want?

Straightforwardness

I am going to attack this in the idea of a “dating game.” No bueno. I feel like nowadays you have to suppress how you feel because you need to abide by the rules of a “game.”

God forbid you tell someone how you actually feel; you might scare him away. I want a man who isn’t afraid to tell me he likes me; a man who wants me and who actually proves it. This whole idea of having to wait a few days before talking again, or having to make yourself seem busier than you actually are, is all a big, giant lie.

If you like someone, don’t hide those feelings. Those feelings are beautiful and they are very hard to come by. Don’t lose them by playing this fabricated love Monopoly game. You make the wrong move, move your piece in one wrong way, and you can miss out on the guy of your dreams.

Both men and women need to stop being so confusing, and stop being afraid to showcase how they really feel.

You are distracting yourself from something extremely precious and fragile. Even after you’ve crossed from the dating realm into the relationship empire, don’t lose the fire to tell the truth and tell your woman how you feel about anything and everything.

Intelligence

Being smart is really one of the hottest qualities. Women love when our minds are matched up against the challenging brain of another; gaining more knowledge, insight and fresh perspectives on the world is refreshing.

Being enlightened is one of the greatest things anyone could ask for, especially coming from a lover. Women want men who can expose them to new ideas. We aren’t saying you need to be the next Steve Jobs, but we do appreciate knowledge.

That being said, don’t be one of those know-it-alls and don’t be so smart that you can’t take a joke, either. Being able to hold an intelligent conversation with off-the-wall, fun ideas is definitely charming.

Spontaneity

Women don’t like to do the same old thing every single day, every single weekend. It gets boring, monotonous and mundane. Go outside of your comfort zone every once in a while and explore a new place you’ve never been to, like dining at a restaurant in a neighboring town, or hiking or skiing on a random trip.

Do something you’ve both never done, but feel like you’d both enjoy. Why not? You really don’t have anything to lose and it is quality time spent together in a new, unfamiliar environment.

Sensuality

Fellas, let’s be honest: A relationship needs to be passionate, wild and filled with pleasure. Now I am not a love guru, nor am I the editor of Cosmo magazine, but spice it up a little bit and have fun.

This goes hand-in-hand with the idea of spontaneity. If you like your woman, don’t just tell her; show her. Make her feel like she is the most beautiful woman you have ever set your eyes on. Embrace her like you never want to let her go.

Kiss her like her lips are the most succulent lips you have ever kissed. Massage her back like she just had the roughest day at work.

Be flirty, show her that she is worth it. Show her you are mentally and physically attracted to her.

Determination

In a long-term relationship, women look for men who are goal-oriented. This goes with the idea that you will be able to support her in the future with a stable financial environment.

This isn’t to say that women want a man who is filthy rich; we just find it incredibly attractive when men have a desire to reach a goal in life, whatever that goal may be.

If you want to be the next science fiction author, go for it. If you want to be the next Wolfgang Puck, we support you. If we love you, we will always be there to support you in your goals; we want you to succeed just as much as you do. Nothing makes us happier than seeing you happy.

Faithfulness

Left and right I hear stories of people getting their hearts broken because they found out their significant other has been sleeping around, or having a steady affair.

Being faithful and having trust is a huge piece to the relationship puzzle. If there is no trust, there is nothing to build off of. Trust is the foundation of anything stable.

Stop lying, stop sneaking around and stop pretending to love someone if you don’t. Cheating and lying is unacceptable and quite frankly, it’s unnecessary. So be faithful and tell your lover the truth. Unless you're Eminem, you have no reason to be shady.

Humor

Any man who can genuinely make me laugh has already won me over. I am magnetically drawn to a man who can crack me up. It shows that you are down to earth; you know how to have a good time and we click.

This is one of the most crucial things I look for when seeking a partner because I know that this person will be there to cheer me up when I’m down, to laugh with me at my most embarrassing moments and to overall be with me as we enjoy one another’s company.

Humor is essential, for me; it’s like the chocolate crunch layered inside of an ice cream cake. Without them, the ice cream cake is okay, but you can tell there is definitely something missing.

Thus concludes the dating checklist: a great majority of the criteria women use to assess whether or not a man’s personality is worthy of her time and effort.

Perhaps fate works in mysterious ways and I simply just haven’t stumbled across the man of my dreams yet. Or, perhaps some brainiac somewhere in the world just hasn’t quite figured out the mechanics to make the Easy-Bake-A-Hunk oven.

Until then, I’ll just continue making out with my burritos and pretending they're Justin Timberlake.

Photo Courtesy: Tumblr