8 Things We Let Our Partners Get Away With, But Not Friends
I've had a long-held belief about relationships that I only rant about when I'm either drunk, single or both.
Last weekend, I was both.
The belief, simply put, is that the only real difference between your friends and your significant others is that you don't regularly have sex with your friends. And as we generally like sex, we let our significant others and those we date get away with things we'd never let our friends get away with.
But we shouldn't - and I'm here to tell you why.
So, in no particular order, here are 8 things we let our partners get away with that we'd never let our friends get away with.
They always show up late to things.
I was dating a girl for about a month or two and we had planned on meeting somewhere in the city for my friend's birthday.
Like an unforgiveable jerkoff, I showed up an hour late to this event and didn't even call or text. When I arrived, she was still there, waiting for me. She was furious and I had to work hard to get myself back into her good graces. Still, she tolerated me.
Why did she stay? Well, because we were dating. That's what people in relationships do: they tolerate and they compromise.
In reality, she absolutely shouldn't have. If the two of us were friends, there's no way she'd have stayed.
There's compromise and then there's complete lunacy.
They cancel plans last minute without any real explanation.
Recently, a girl I'd made plans with texted me a half hour after we were supposed to meet up to explain that she decided to do something else.
She wasn't going to show and proposed a rain check.
Old me, persuaded by the possible pull of sexual activity at some point down the road, would've definitely taken her up on that future offer.
New me? Hell no.
Treat your dates with enough respect to either follow through on the plans you make and the things you say.
They take your clothing and never return it.
In most cases, intimacy through an older article of clothing is pretty adorable. At its core, it also feels like petty theft.
By my count, I'm down two sweatshirts, one pair of sweatpants, at least one white t-shirt, and who knows how much else.
If my significant other does it, I'd say it's cute.
If my friend does it, not so much.
They are annoyed when you don't wait to watch TV with them.
You and your significant other watch Silicon Valley together. You both love it. It's somehow funny and insightful, yet irritating in the best way.
A new week comes and you decide to watch it by yourself that day because you're working from home while your significant other is at work.
They arrive home, ready to watch, but you've already seen it. Your significant other is annoyed because you said you'd do something and you didn't listen.
But does it actually matter? It's just a TV show, after all.
If I ever found out my roommate was pissed because I watched Next Food Network Star without them, I'd start looking for a new place to live.
They drag you to sporting events you don't like.
You only tolerate sports because your significant other does.
You don't give a crap about football, your mood won't change if the Lakers win or lose, and you certainly don't have a fantasy team that consumes your every thought.
But, here you are at a sports game when you could be doing… well, anything else in the world.
I have friends who love college basketball. Personally, I could care less about it.
If they stopped playing, I'm not even sure I'd even notice. My friends don't force me to go to any games with them. They find other friends to do that with because they know I have zero interest.
Then, we all move on with our lives.
They are concerned with you getting along with members of their family.
In a lot of relationships, it's important to your significant other that you like their family.
They want you to enjoy being around their family, spending quality time with brothers, sisters, uncles, and aunts.
As it relates to my friends, I've probably interacted with their families at weddings, stalling for time while a friend was getting ready before a night off, or during those random visits after school.
I don't hang with their families on my own. We don't need to be super close because frankly, they're not my family. They're someone else's family.
They prevent you from getting a good night's sleep.
It's awful to share the bed with a significant other that makes your nightly sleep feel like a logging competition.
However, this is something that can be part of a relationship. From the point where you start dating someone, until your kids are long out of the house, you sleep in the same bad nearly every night.
You know who doesn't make you do that? Your friends.
They sleep in different rooms, on couches, or inflatable mattresses where you can't hear them.
They know not to disturb you.
They make you check in whenever you're away.
When you're in a relationship, you and your significant other check in with one another a lot.
The texts and phone calls that interrupt what you're doing are seemingly never ending. Why, though?
Think for a minute if your friends would be annoyed if you didn't let them know what you were up to for a few days.
Sometimes, you could be busy on a work trip and not have time to check in because you're living your life. Nothing suspicious or shady is going on. You're just busy.
As expected, your friend is more likely to be fine with this.
Relationships are all about compromise. Part of being open to sharing your life with someone else indicates your willingness to bend for them as they would bend for you.
If all of a sudden that significant other was no longer a part of your life, it's your friends who would be still be there. They're the ones that were there from the beginning and, if they're actual friends, will be there through the end.
You hold them to a high standard for that very reason. If you want your significant other to be in your life through that same end, start holding them to those same standards.