I've only been single for six months, but it feels like I've been out of the dating game forever. After two failed relationships -- one that lasted almost eight years and another only seven months -- I think women need a checklist for when they get back out on the playing field.
Dating is often hit or miss, so why not have "rules" for when a guy asks you out for that first or second date?
Men also tend to forget certain dating guidelines when it comes to courting a modern woman. Some assume that traditions are dead and they should accommodate for the hook-up culture, but those guys couldn't be more wrong.
Get out your pen and paper, boys...
RULE #1 - Be Yourself
So, your dad owns a million-dollar company, but you're in school and hold a part-time job? This doesn't make you the millionaire; so don't act like you have some persona you need to live up to.
Be humble, but most importantly, be yourself. Own up to any faults you think you may have and let the woman see you for who you are. Every woman appreciates a man who can laugh at his own jokes and isn't afraid to be vulnerable. Being too proud is not attractive.
RULE #2 - Chivalry Is Not Dead
The other night, I went on a date with a really intelligent guy. Before I met up with him I went shopping, so I had a few bags in hand. The second he saw me he asked if he could help me by holding my bags while we walked to our first destination.
Not only did his request shock me, but the very fact that I was shocked by it disturbed me. Where are the gentlemen at? Where are the men who open the car door for you? Men, if you're on a date and you want to make a good first impression, hold the car door for her, carry her bags and make her feel like you care while doing it.
RULE #3 - Pay The Bill
This can be a touchy subject. A lot of men I know are aware of this rule, but I think they need to be reminded. If you ask a girl out on a date, she is your guest. Therefore, you should definitely foot the bill.
Call me traditional, but I believe that when a guy pays on a first date, it not only shows he is in touch with tradition, but also that he likes you enough to pay for your portion. If he suggests you go dutch on a first date, run, girl. I don't think he's that into you.
RULE #4 - Ask Questions
What happened to getting to know someone before dialing his or her number for some late night lovin'?
Modern technology and websites like Facebook, Twitter and Tinder make information so accessible that people forget to ask important questions: Are you an only child? What do your parents do? What are your hobbies? Do you like pizza?
The last one may sound cheesy (haha), but something so simple can lead to a slew of conversations. I want someone to know the ins and outs of my life, especially if I'm considering a second or third date. So ask me anything!
RULE #5 - No Sex... Until It's The Right Time
What is up with apps like Tinder? Tinder is nothing more than a 21st century booty call system that way too many men and women are signed up for.
If you want to date a girl, don't be on Tinder. This no-sex rule is too often forgotten this day and age because of the blurred lines between men and women.
If you're considering a serious relationship with this girl, don't sleep with her on the first or second date. It will make the experience that much more special because she won't be just another name in your little black book.
RULE #6 - Be Intelligent And Original
I'm not asking for a PhD or an MD, but have some level of intelligence so we can keep a conversation going. Didn't go to school? No problem. Just be curious, driven and ambitious with unique and exciting ideas so you can keep my mind revving.
RULE #7 - Have A Car (Or At Least A License)
This may sound a tad materialistic, but if I'm dating a guy, I don't want to be the one driving to and from his place or supporting him with lifts in the future.
I'm not a huge fan of the BMW (bus, metro and walking). It's cool to get around in the summer, but what are you going to do when the snow hits? It's 2014, and the car was invented for a reason. If you can't afford it right now, cool, but please tell me you have a driver's license.
RULE #8 - Don't Lead Her On
If you're not interested, let her know. Too many guys I know will lead a girl on for days, weeks and sometimes months before she eventually falls head-over-heels for him. We are strong women, not children. If you don't like us, let us know. Sure, it will sting at first, but we'll be okay.
Why is dating so complicated? Let's uncomplicate it together, shall we?
Photo Courtesy: Tumblr