It dawned on me yesterday how much I hate dating. It’s basically conducting interviews with a person who, for whatever reason, seems to be interviewing you for a similar position. I interview enough people on a regular basis as it is, I don’t need any more work. However, even after the official hiring process is through, you run into more difficulties.
Most women – not all women – have some unreasonable demands for their lovers. I can understand being demanding. In a relationship, you should have high expectations of the other person because you're considering spending your life with that someone.
But if you’re going to demand something, then make it a reasonable demand. Don’t make your demands easy, but, at the very least, make them attainable.
1. “Your place could really use a feminine touch.”
It's our place. When it comes to cleanliness, I can understand women wanting things to be… sanitary. Especially when they are spending time there.
However, unless we’re living together, our apartment should be our apartment – and we should have our apartment arranged however we like. This isn’t to say that we can’t accommodate some requests, but understand that if we choose to do so, it’s only because we want you to feel more at home.
This doesn’t mean that we want our home to be your home. Not just yet anyway. Our sanctuary space is our private space, and we like to keep it looking, smelling and feeling the way it makes us feel comfortable. We spend more time in our apartment than you do. So don’t expect us to be buying throw pillows anytime soon.
2. “Don’t look at other women.”
Here’s something that all women need to understand: We’re men. There will always be a part of us that wants to see every beautiful woman naked. This is science; we honestly can’t help it.
What we can help, however, is whether or not we act on urges. We will never stop checking out beautiful women -- the smarter ones will have the courtesy of not doing so in your presence. Also: let’s not kid ourselves. You ladies eat men alive with your eyes just the same. We just don’t like pretending.
3. “Want to do the things that I want to do.”
I’m sorry, but there will be some things that your man will never, ever want to do – no matter how much you want to do them or how much you want him to want to do them.
People have different preferences – trying to change them isn’t recommended. If he loves you, then he is likely to do the things he doesn’t like to do because you like to do them, but don’t expect him to do so regularly.
If he is willing to go shopping with you all over Soho this week, then you should be willing not to ask him to go for the next while.
4. “Love me unconditionally.”
There’s no such thing as unconditional love – only stupidity that often comes with loving another. You don’t want a stupid man; you want an intelligent man. Intelligent men are goal-oriented. They do things because they want to do them.
They take things because they want them. They love you because of all the things that you do for them and mean to them. All of this relies upon conditions. When certain conditions change, so does the love.
These changes may strengthen the relationship just as they may weaken it – it all depends on the conditions. People don’t love unconditionally. They just heard the line in some story or movie and trick themselves into thinking it’s possible.
5. “Always choose me over your friends.”
I’m sorry, but it’s not going to happen – not all the time. Most women are a bit more lax when it comes to this issue, but others aren’t. Some women hate their boyfriend’s friends.
But, as you may have guessed, your boyfriend doesn’t hate his friends. Relationships drive friendships apart, and most of the times, unintentionally.
It’s no one's fault – it’s the nature of relationships. You spend so much time together, leave what little time he has left to dick around and enjoy himself with his buddies.
6. “Protect me and pay for me, but remain my equal and allow me my financial independence.”
If I have to protect you from harm because you want me to, and pay for your expenses because you ask me to help, then how can we be equals? I want to be your equal. Personally, I could never be with a woman who wasn’t financially independent and couldn’t kick ass herself.
7. "Don’t love me for my looks – love me for me."
We do love you for you… but your looks are a part of it. If a man loves you, really loves you, then your looks aren’t the whole cake – only the icing. Yes, sometimes men are shallow. Sometimes, women are shallow.
We’re all shallow because we respond to that which we see with our eyes – it’s the reality we live in. Does this mean that we will leave you when you begin to wrinkle and your skin begins to sag? Most men won’t. But some will. Those men have no loyalty, so think of it as a blessing in disguise.
Photo via Tumblr