College prepares you to get down and dirty in frat basements, have beer poured all over your clothes leaving you to walk home sticky from day drinks and taunts you with exhausting amounts of flirting. Every ounce of socializing you squeeze out of college is measured in the number of times your eyes bounce to and from button up to jersey to polo to surfer tank.
They come in all shapes and sizes, these boys. They range from major douche to nice, nerdy guy. Each serves their purpose, and as you grow from freshman year baby to senior year “I can handle myself,” you realize all they've done for you.
"For you,” not, “To you.” None of these guys have broken your heart. Yes, maybe you've gotten hurt here and there, but just barely. The scratches didn't break the skin and have long since healed. You've never had your heart broken here in college because you never left your heart up for grabs. You shouldn't have to.
College is the place where nothing should ever get boring, and that includes your hookups and relationships. So, sorry if you are just realizing it now, but these things with these seven guys ended because it got boring.
Here are the seven guys you're bound to have flings with in college, and what you'll (hopefully) learn from each of them:
1. The One Who Almost Worked
There's the guy who actually wanted to make it work with you. So cute, so young, so naïve. He's at middle school crush status. Boy likes you; you may or may not like boy. It's unclear because your head is filled with so many standards, and the boxes just aren't being checked the way you thought they would.
And that's OK. Innocent nights introduce themselves, and soon you both realize friendship is something that deserves a fair chance. This break was fair and mature. Good job to both of you.
2. The One Who Stuck Around
The guy who sticks around the longest has a big crush. He wants you to let him in. But hey, you and I both know he's not worth your time.
His ability to converse with you is limited. That's because he knows, just as much as you do, that you only keep him around because he's the best kisser you've ever known. That's OK. Everyone should be blessed with one of those people in college. And if he's a frog, it sure didn't seem like it in the moment.
3. The One Who Was A Reliable Booty Call
This gem is the guy who never failed to text you at 2 am to come to his place. This is one of the worst guys. The hookup: undeniably great. Your friends: They don't approve of this one too much.
"It's purely physical," is what you tell them. But when you're over after a day drink and he's kicking you out to bring another girl to his formal that night, it kind of feels more than just physical. But hey, we live and we learn (I hope). You can definitely expect to never see them in the morning.
4. The One Who Was "Perfect"
This guy had a one-night-only gig as Prince Charming. Classic. It never lasts. You start to see the possibilities of everything because the night is just flawlessly ticking away.
You fall asleep laughing, and you wake up in each other's arms. He gets ready to leave and goes sweetly with a kiss goodbye. But he forgets to mention you will never see each other again. It was too short to hurt. It just leaves you kind of bummed.
But here, you learn to put yourself out there and realize that sometimes it doesn't work out, but that one night was worth the try, right? Right?! Right.
5. The One Who Never Gave You His Attention
You pined for it for longer than you'd like to admit. But hey, he's f*cking gorgeous. You made out a handful of times, but it never went further than that.
Something about the whole thing was a little too timid when it came to going after what could have been more. It's OK, though. He's still gorgeous when his face hits your newsfeed. He's the guy who makes you anxious in a good way. He proves there are more of his kind out there waiting for you, and that's exciting.
6. The One Who Was A Mystery
This is the guy you met at the bar with a, “Hey, I feel like I know you.” He's sweet. He racks his brain for every instance of where the two of you could have possibly met in the last four years. Finally, he comes up with, “Football game freshman year!”
When he's right, it's not awkward because your pick-up line got you a touchdown. He's sweet, nerdy and isn't quick to overstep his boundaries. He even bonds with your roommates when he comes over and cracks a few jokes. It's convenient. It's not love or anything, but here you've learned to have respect for the type of person this one is. You won't miss each other once graduation rolls around, but for a minute, it was nice to see they're not all so bad.
7. The One Who Almost Was The One
This is the guy you could have seen it working out with. Everything was perfect, but maybe the timing just wasn't right. You had the best time ever, and so did he. It was a mutual break, and that's what makes it so great.
You hope for the possibility of the moment where it could work out, but you know it won't. You thank yourself for letting go for a moment, and for letting go with someone who showed you just how good it could be.
These flings are supposed to be fun. They're time periods we're supposed to learn from, to find out what we like and who we could potentially like.
So, next time your eye bounces from button up, to jersey, to polo to surfer tank, remember this: Nothing should ever be boring.