Human beings come equipped with some pretty nifty features. For example, we have an alarm that goes off every time we find ourselves in danger. We call it fear.
Every time we believe we may be in danger, we feel this jolt go through our bodies telling us we need to move, we need to act, to respond to the threat.
Over the centuries, we've developed this response not only to physical threats, but also to mental ones. When our egos feel threatened, they also set off an alarm. While this sort of warning system also has its benefits, the fact is that usually it does us more harm than good.
Everything we experience is, in a sense, an interpretation. When it comes to non-physical threats, there's a whole lot to be left to interpretation.
In fact, in such cases, it’s literally all up to your interpretation. Sure, we may be afraid of doing something, trying something or being in some sort of situation, but the reality is that people aren’t always the best interpreters.
When it comes to fears, we more often than not get it wrong. That’s why you need to find someone who helps you tweak those interpretations.
1. This person pulls you out of your comfort zone.
Most of us can agree that leaving our comfort zones is good for us. It allows us to experience more in life, to try new things, to get to know the world and all the people in it a little bit better.
The person you love should make you try things you may end up enjoying and incorporating into your life. He or she helps you understand what it is you do like and what you don’t like, allowing you to better understand the sort of life you wish to live.
2. This person forces you to experience life more fully.
You’ll try more foods. Drink more drinks. Do things you never previously imagined yourself doing. Your life will become more spontaneous, more exciting -- and yes -- more frightening.
You never want to be afraid for your health or life, but just about all other fears are unjustified. There’s no mistake or embarrassment that you can’t move past.
There’s no awkward moment that won’t be forgotten and no feeling of fear that won’t fade. Life becomes mundane if we keep a strict routine for too long. Find someone who will help shake up your world a bit.
3. This person makes you feel… more.
Tell me, out of all the memories you have floating about in those brains of yours, which ones remain the most vivid? I’m willing to bet that they're the ones that were such overwhelmingly emotional moments, that you still feel the remnants of those emotions every time those memories resurface.
You remember what makes you feel more. It doesn’t matter what that emotion is. Whether it be joy, sadness, anger, jealousy or fear. You remember those moments most vividly because those moments made you feel most alive.
Find someone who scares the sh*t out of you and your life will likely be a bit of an emotional roller coaster ride -- but imagine all the memories...
4. This person makes you face yourself.
There’s a lot you learn about yourself when you’re dating another individual. You will never learn more about yourself, however, than you will when you share your life with someone who makes you realize the things you never knew you were scared of.
If you want to know a person inside and out, then learn his or her fears. You don’t need to know anything else, as everything else can be deduced. If you want to understand what is most important to you in life, then understand what it is you fear most.
The beauty of learning one’s own fears is that you get a chance to realize how irrational most of the fears are. By learning your fears, you’ll learn what or who you’re afraid of losing, what you’re afraid of never experiencing or accomplishing, and what fears shouldn’t be fears.
5. This person makes you get over your fear of commitment.
Because you’re getting cold feet, it means that you’re seriously considering spending your life with this person. That’s a big deal. And I don’t just mean the "spending your whole life with this person" part, I mean the fact that you care about this person enough to honestly be considering spending forever with him or her.
We only fear imminent threats with the intensity we fear committing our lives to one person. Sometimes, when you’re scared of committing, it’s because you’re finally seeing commitment as a serious possibility. Getting to that point is rare. Chances are that you’re just scared of the inevitable change.
6. This person doesn’t give you a chance to get bored.
Find someone who makes you do and try things you never imagined you’d be doing and you won’t have time to be bored. You’ll either be doing something that’s scaring the crap out of you or you’re scared of what that crazy partner of yours will think of next.
Of course, this sort of fear is accompanied with excitement -- it’s one of those things you don’t especially want to admit you enjoy. Fear comes in endless shapes and colors as it blends and transitions between its counterparts. The right blend at a consistent dosage and you could end up living a life worth living.
7. You literally get more out of life.
The thing about fear is that we get over it just about as soon as we realize we never had anything to fear in the first place. In other words, once you try it, you know it doesn’t bite -- you won’t be afraid, or as afraid, the second time around.
You don’t ever want life to lose its excitement. Sure, your level of excitement will fluctuate over the years -- as it should -- but you never want to continue on a downward slope.
I’m honestly beginning to think that the only reason people interact with other people is to force them to live life a little crazier, a little fuller and a little less cautiously.
Find a man or woman who scares the pants off you a couple times a year and you may even manage to find your happily ever after.