It’s basically like regular dating, but with a twist. You heard his voice and his accent turned you on. You noticed her exotic look and your jaw dropped instantly.
In a few seconds, you forgot about the snow, the crowd and anything else around.
You were sent in a heartbeat to another galaxy. Bienvenida! You just got a taste of what they call "international love," the kind that brings the best of the far away country right to your door.
From the early stages of your very first encounter to the first date and all the way to breaking up, being in a relationship with someone whose native language is different than yours can put you through a number of situations that range from awkward to hilarious, all the way up to exasperating.
A whole new world
It could have been love at first sight or just a significant difference that somehow caught your attention. You start talking that small talk, and of course, you do it local style. And, that’s why it works.
You enter a whole new world and just like that, you two get ready to embark on a great journey to find out how your (cultural) differences make you even closer.
You’ve entered the blissful stage.
With a different language comes a different culture
You learn how he or she does it at home, and you just love it. The food, the music, the traditions — you feel like you’re traveling for free with many more perks than the average tourist.
Every day brings something new, and it’s exciting. And, the great thing you probably don’t even have in mind yet is that this cultural embrace will go beyond your two bodies.
Indeed, your foreign lover also has a whole family waiting abroad to meet you (and I’m not even talking about your two families trying to communicate together).
You don’t always get what he/she says…
…But, you still find it adorable. You get to learn new words, too, and that’s all part of the fun, right?
The only thing is that the misunderstandings and the lack of language knowledge will soon start being a problem in a varied range of situations, from cooking together to gatherings with (your) friends, all the way to sex and foreplay.
In no time, your life together has started to look like a poorly subtitled movie. It’s confusing and at times, even embarrassing.
It used to be funny and now it’s just exasperating
He keeps calling it footy while you call it soccer, and you won’t stop correcting him until he gets is right, even though you perfectly understood what he meant.
She tries to say can’t but it sounds like cunt and you can’t stop laughing.
Never EVER make a joke while your foreign partner is trying to adjust to the language/accent/culture. That’s just a big NO.
What used to be sexiness is turning into no way-ness
By now, you might have experienced some (or too much) turbulence on your magic carpet tour.
And, that’s it, you’ve reached that dead end where his "little accent" just isn’t that cute anymore, and deciphering her text messages is simply driving you crazy.
Worst comes to worst, learn the hard way that some stereotypes are more than urban legends.
Arguing has become an even bigger pain
Your partner can’t always find his or her words, and things don’t always come out as he or she meant them to. Actually, he or she is not even sure you got that conversation (argument) right, either.
You start having a headache, and now isn’t the most appropriate time to pause and reach out for a dictionary. And, what becomes even more painful is to spend all that time explaining how your country/politics/culture is just so much better.
Et voilà, you’ve reached the end of your tour and you might have decided by now that in spite of your differences, life was much more fun together.
Just like any other couples, you’ll probably go through more ups and downs, but the great thing about being an international one is that you can get to replay those romantic comedy breakup/makeup scenes in airports, when you two start making out in front of the departure gate.
If I just got (way too) carried away and you’ve already bought your partner a one-way ticket to Go-f*ck-off-ville with immediate departure, at least many idioms are world-widely understood, like f*ck you.
And, so is I love you, just in case you (ever) change your mind.