At what moment do you realize you may be falling in love with someone? The moment you realize how nervous that person makes you feel.
Nervousness is the way our minds tell us someone means a lot to us. Human beings develop a clear understanding of the dangers of life, the inevitable loss and the disappointment.
When we find someone who always manages to make us nervous, it’s a clear sign we find keeping him or her around extremely important.
Human beings are usually entirely egocentric creatures -- until we fall in love. Only when we are in love do we feel for and worry about a person in a way almost identical to how we feel for and worry about ourselves.
The person you should spend your life with is the person who always manages to make you nervous. There are always reasons to worry and be nervous when it comes to life, but that nervousness usually stems from the need to protect ourselves.
It’s when we feel a need to protect and hold on to another that we have found someone worth keeping around -- someone we care about as much as we care about ourselves.
1. You’re always anticipating the next time you’ll get a chance to see each other.
Even when the two of you are apart, you aren’t really apart -- messaging each other throughout the day -- yet, when you know you’re going to physically be in his or her presence, you get butterflies.
We experience this most profoundly in the beginning of the relationship, while everything is still novel, still a mystery -- when we’re most keen on making him or her, ours. Most will claim these butterflies fade with time, but that doesn’t necessarily have to be the case.
Sure, you may not get nervous each and every time you’re about to see your love, but if you never get nervous anymore, then you have an issue at hand.
Feeling a little bit nervous is what reminds us how much we love the person we’re with. the problem is that as time goes on, we stop paying enough attention to our partners to give ourselves a chance to be nervous.
You can’t allow your relationship to go on autopilot. All those things that were once novel won’t seem quite as exciting as before, but you’re living in a world where possibilities and experiences are endless.
If your lover never makes you nervous with anticipation then take it as a sign that you need to get back in touch with each other, maybe even mix things up a bit. Relationships take work. If you love this person enough, then you’ll put that work in.
2. Even though you know there’s no need for you to tiptoe around, you’re still nervous that your “quirks” will scare him or her away.
We know we’re not perfect and sometimes we get nervous thinking about the possibility that our imperfections will scare the loves of our lives away.
This one is an interesting one because, although we want to feel comfortable with the person we love, getting too comfortable with the other is usually the reason relationships go south.
The reality of it is that neither you nor your partner wants to be completely open with each other. There are some things we don’t need to know, don’t want to hear about and definitely don’t want to see.
Ignorance is bliss and is necessary to an extent in order to keep a relationship romantically fueled. You may think you want to know the person you love inside and out, but there are some things that you’ll later wish you didn’t know.
Sometimes we need to keep the most personal and private moments to ourselves -- for the better of the relationship. If you never feel nervous about slipping up, then you’re likely already slipping up.
3. You can’t imagine him or her walking out on you, but nevertheless you dread the possibility.
You love your partner so much that just the thought of the two of you not being together for the rest of your life scares you a little.
Relationships fail all the time and the decision to call it quits usually isn’t unanimous. People have a lot of their own demons to deal with and sometimes even an amazing relationship will fail -- if only because one of the two individuals isn’t yet ready.
Being a part of a relationship isn’t easy -- nowhere as easy as pop culture likes to make it seem. Half the time we drive ourselves away by getting lost in our own unnecessarily negative thoughts.
If we aren’t nervous about him or her leaving us, we’re usually nervous about whether or not we ourselves are ready to call this one the last one.
4. You’re nervous about how much you love him or her.
Love is an incredibly complicated emotion/experience/thing. Loving someone always means, to one extent or another, being dependent on that person.
You may not believe your happiness depends on having him or her in your life, but if losing him or her would break your heart, then your happiness does quite literally depend on this person remaining a part of your life.
It’s not uncommon to be anxious about how much we care about, love and depend on someone.
Especially if we’ve been in this position before -- already knowing how much losing someone can hurt you is enough to make you feel nervous about falling too hard for someone new.
People always seem to think people just trip and fall in love. I don’t think anything could be further from the truth -- at least not the second time around and every time after that.
Once you get your heart broken for the first time, you learn not to give your whole heart away, but instead ease into handing it over a little at a time, as your lover proves he or she deserves to hold on to it.
5. You’re both nervous and excited about the future the two of you will have together.
You know where the relationship is heading, and although it's heading where you want it head, you’re a bit anxious -- frightened even -- about what lies ahead.
You’ve gotten to the point in your relationship where things are beginning to become… permanent. You love the person you decided to share your life with, but knowing what's to come next still makes you a bit nervous.
Before you know it, you’ll have kids and your entire lives will change in an instant. You’ll be grownups and do grown-up things.
If that doesn’t make you at least a little nervous, then you’re more mature than most people in the world.
Either that or you’re naive and don’t realize how tough things are likely to get. You know your love will make it through, but you’re still a bit nervous. And that’s OK.
6. You’re nervous about the inevitable… the day the two of you part ways forever.
I have no idea when I will get married or whom I’ll marry, but I’m already nervous about the inevitability of losing her.
I think this is the only way to know for sure if you truly love someone.
It’s not about "not being able to live without this person." It’s about knowing you may very well have to live without him or her -- and that’s not a thought you can think about for too long without tearing up.
One day we will lose all the people we love and they will lose us. What happens after is uncertain, unknown, and almost certainly nothing like we imagine it to be.
In reality, it doesn’t matter what comes after because you can’t imagine the universe existing without this person in it. He or she is your universe -- your reality. This person is your home.