He’s giving me mixed signals; it’s so frustrating.
No, my dear, what's frustrating is the fact that you are so amazing, yet wasting your time with someone who isn’t into you at all. Mixed signals do not exist. It is a concept that people, who can’t tell whether or not a prospect is interested or not, bemoan.
Newsflash: If you can’t tell, it almost always means that the person is not interested – and you should view that as a clear signal, not a foggy one. Whether we are looking for something casual or a serious relationship, inconsistency and supposed mixed signals bother most of us.
To me, deciphering mixed signals simply sounds like a whole lot of wasted time and effort – especially if they don’t really exist and you are failing to see the bigger picture. Here are six reasons why there is no such thing as mixed signals in the dating world:
1. Actions Speak Louder Than Words
If someone’s words (or text messages) lead you to believe that he or she is into you, but the actions prove otherwise, listen to the actions.
Do not let yourself get confused because someone said “Hey gorgeous, I’d love to see you sometime soon” but the person doesn’t actually ever make plans to see you. Actions speak louder than words.
2. Players Only Love You When They’re Playing
This point sort of speaks for itself. A female or male player might pretend to be interested in you or even pretend to care about you because he or she might have some sort of ulterior motive.
If someone is playing you, it can create a false sense of intimacy. Eventually, the true colors will show and it will be around that time when you start complaining about mixed signals.
Most of the time, you can spot these types a mile away; always listen to your instincts because you should be able to tell if someone is genuine or not. Again, consider the actions if you need proof, one way or another.
3. When You Know, You Know
When someone is really interested in you, you will know. It will be clear. There will not be mixed signals. When this happens, it will feel effortless, natural and easy.
The anxiety sustained from wondering and waiting will be nonexistent. You will hear from this person often and you will not feel played.
4. Inconsistency Is Not Something You Should Deal With
Whether you’re looking for something casual or something more serious, if someone is inconsistent with you and it is bothering you, move on.
For example, if someone you’re interested in contacts you on a regular basis and then drops off the face of the earth for a few weeks and then repeats the same cycle, try not to get too frustrated. Simply do not invest any more of your time.
In poker terms, fold. “Mixed signals” such as these are not worth your time and effort.
5. Most People Don't Want To Put All Of Their Eggs In One Basket
You may be confusing mixed signals with someone who is simply not focused on just you. From time to time, this person’s focus drifts to the other people he or she is seeing – and that’s simply this person’s prerogative.
Unless you’re looking for a relationship, you should accept that the focus won’t always be on you, at all times.
6. The Secret Lover Is Not A Thing
If someone is all about you in private, but is reluctant to introduce you to his or her friends or family or take you out in public, there could be trouble in paradise.
If someone can’t show any affection whatsoever unless you’re alone, that’s not mixed signals, that’s just a red flag.