It might be difficult to get a guy to break down and open up, but by approaching things a little differently, a girl can bring a man’s sensitive side to the surface. Every relationship is different and develops in its own way.
There’s no step-by-step guide, but giving your relationship a bit of encouragement and tweaking things along the way may leave both of you feeling slightly more relaxed.
A common mistake many girls tend to make is expecting too much, too soon. When a guy senses this, he may feel smothered.
Instead of jumping way ahead and imagining scenarios that may freak a guy out, girls need to ease up a bit and understand that it takes time for a guy to open up. Here are five ways to do it successfully:
1. Go easy.
It’s not always easy to relax. Rather than rushing him, allow him to set the pace. This removes a lot of the pressure from him and allows him to feel comfortable.
You’ll never want to interrogate him. Interrogation shows a lack of trust and empathy. Stay sweet. Being too demanding can suffocate the guy and heighten all of your insecurities.
A good way to do this is to ask many, rapid-fire, small questions. Don't do this, and never demand answers. Rather, give him time to think before he shares his feelings.
2. Open up as well.
If you want him to open up, then you should, too. It’s a two-way street. If you give, it demonstrates to him what you wish to receive.
Sometimes, we expect guys to know what we’re thinking or how we’re feeling. Instead of just assuming he has a sixth sense, it is important to speak up because he won’t be able to read your mind.
But, keep in mind that you don’t want to come off as confrontational. Keeping calm will allow him to hear you out.
3. Pay attention to him.
Pay attention to what he is telling you, showing you or doing. If you notice that he is opening up and puts his trust in you with the information he is telling you, encourage him to continue. A great listener is someone who’s genuine and attentive.
Don’t cut him off before he finishes his sentence and don’t finish his sentences for him. Stay in the moment.
4. Be appreciative.
It’s easy to pick out a guy’s flaws: what he’s doing wrong, what he’s not doing and what he’s not doing enough of. But, rather than pinpointing all of the imperfections, compliment him for what he is doing well.
Gestures like offering him a massage can be an intimate way to display that you appreciate him. Let him know that you're grateful for what he does for you and don’t take what he does for granted. Remember, all of the little things that he does is what matters the most.
One of the best ways to do this is to take an interest in his passions. Whether that’s hockey, fishing or reading, take an active interest in his hobbies.
5. Be there for him.
Let him know that you are there for him. Be supportive and have faith in him. Life is not always rainbows and butterflies, so be the one who goes through the thick and thin with him. Encourage him to pursue his dreams.
Photo Courtesy: Theo Gosselin