5 Ugly, Untrue Thoughts That Go Through Every Single Girl's Mind

by Meredith L. Brown

Being “single” for a long period of time can allow for personal discovery, growth and memorable experiences a girl wouldn’t otherwise have if she were in a relationship.

It’s these years or months that turn girls into women, showing them that having a boyfriend is not the “be all, end all” of life.

It’s fun going through high school, college and young adulthood being free to live life for yourself, hanging with your girls and doing whatever you want. But, that doesn’t mean there aren’t lonely nights, frustrations and disappointments.

While every single girl wants to put on a Beyoncé fierce face for everything in life, she would be lying if she told you it was always fun, easy and okay being single.

The thoughts that sometimes go through her mind are ugly, self-deprecating and things that no strong woman should ever think.

"I'm running out of time."

You know you're young, but it's still not fun to spend another Valentine's Day crying. You aren’t saying you want to get married and ride off into the sunset right now; you, as a young woman, want to pursue your own dreams and goals.

However, you would like to have the cute guy at the bar ask you out or go on a couple of dates with someone you met through a mutual friend.

Yes, 21, 22 and 23 may be too young for you to get married, but you would like to get there eventually. The people in your peanut gallery often forget they were your age or younger when they met their men.

Yet, here they are, criticizing you for feeling so rushed, when they never had to worry about being four years behind the “date, engaged, married, kids” process.

It’s a scary realization with each passing year.

"I'm SO unbearably lonely."

While every girl likes her independence, it does get old to not have that one person in your life.

There you are, watching while every girl around you seems to get dates with the snap of a finger. Suddenly, this constant reminder of your singleness increases your feelings of loneliness.

You crave someone to cuddle with you when you are upset or do mundane activities with you, like grocery shopping, watching TV or even talking with you while you clean your perpetually messy room.

You fantasize about the guy you've liked for months taking you out to your favorite restaurant, consoling you when you have a bad day at work and kissing you.

There is a lot to say about the emotional, physical and psychological effects of having a significant other. The studies on cuddling, kissing and love continue to show that it is, in fact, a feeling the nothing else can replace.

Therefore, being single for so long can lead a girl down the unsafe median between loneliness and depression.

"I'm just not pretty enough."

You look at yourself in the mirror and see all the reasons why guys don’t pick you. You have watched many crushes come and go, all coincidentally going for the super model type: perfect hair, hourglass-shaped body and long legs.

Every guy you miss out on coincidentally seems to end up with a girl who is “prettier than you.” Before, you were the girl who never used to care how you looked (at least not too seriously), but things have changed.

You are convinced you just aren’t pretty enough and you have to change it, whether that means losing weight, wearing more makeup or even more drastic medical procedures.

These unhealthy thoughts that shouldn’t go through your head are taking over. Here is the birthplace of body dysmorphia, eating disorders and plastic surgery, which seem to be relentlessly affecting girl after girl in contemporary culture.

Girls are trying to make themselves prettier, not just “for themselves” (as many of them will nonchalantly claim), but so men will like them. It’s a sad reality.

"I never won't be 'friend-zoned.'"

Most of the time, single girls are single because they befriend guys before they think of dating them.

You have always been the kind of girl who likes to foster a friendship before a relationship, but, unfortunately, guys in this generation don’t work that way.

Guys of this generation seem to place you either in the “dating material” or “friend material” bin within the first couple of meetings. Unfortunately, once you are placed in one of the bins, it’s hard to get out of it. Now, you are struggling with all these pent-up feelings for crushes who simply saw you as a good friend and passed you by.

The “friend zone” makes it hard for you to have guy friends anymore or simply try to “get to know” a guy before you make a serious commitment.

Either way, you could fall for someone over time who put you in the “friend zone” months ago.

"Maybe my standards are just too high."

Let’s get this straight: You create standards, no one else. Standards are like snowflakes; no two sets are identical.

Every girl is different, and therefore, every girl has different standards. Hence, it is almost unfair for other people to judge a person's standards. You know what is good for you. Every girl’s standards are different because we all want different things and have different dreams and goals.

We create standards our “dream guy” would meet in order to achieve these dreams and goals while living a happy life.

Having a standard for a guy to have a decent-paying job or be a family man are by no means outlandish or unreasonable requests. Neither is asking for a guy who is motivated, cherishes you every day and has a good sense of right and wrong.

Single girls get condemned for setting standards that only Prince Charming would meet, but it's probably one good thing that comes out of being single. It probably means you haven’t lowered your standards for love or for yourself.

Hold on to your so-called “unrealistic” standards because “the one” will meet them. This is why he's called “the one,” after all.