They Will Never Change: 3 Traits Of Men I Wish I Knew Before I Started Dating

by Shoda

A young man around the age of 30 once told me, “A real man (a gentleman) will make you’re life easier, not more difficult.”

I’ve dated 30-year-old men before and none of them had ever said this to me so plainly, or lived up to this expectation. Age may be nothing but a number, but try explaining an 11-year age gap to your friends and family; they can often be very critical of it.

I think I’m done playing this rapid dating game now, but I’m nearly certain that the right guy hasn’t found me yet. If he had, I doubt that I’d feel like he is Mr. Right Now, rather than Mr. Dreamy.

Here are a few things I have learned and definitely wish I knew before I started dating:

1. A man will not change

A young man may alter his behavior to try to please his girlfriend now and then, but if your requests do not comply with his nature, FORGET IT!

This one guy I dated was an avid texter. He’d call if I did not respond to a text or two, but he’d always try to make plans via text message.

The problem with texting is that you never really know when the person actually gets it or if he or she understood your message. I told him this, and he still preferred to text and email whenever we weren’t together. A man is who he is; either accept it, or move on.

2. Don’t let a man disrespect you, even once

I dated a guy who would freak out randomly all the time and I’d accept his apologies (that were usually associated with a gift). Yea, I was blinded by love and free stuff (it was a celibate relationship), but at what cost? I was constantly being disrespected.

I do not believe chivalry is dead; the problem is that women do not expect it anymore. No man is going to raise his voice to me, tell me how to be a woman or any other hurtful act and peacefully go about his day. Now, I have grown accustomed to ending a relationship after the first outburst.

3. It really is raining men

There are too many wonderful men in the world to waste time worrying about a few. Whenever someone, specifically a man, upsets me, I go out. It's not always out to party, but just to get out of the house.

My happy place is Starbucks for three reasons: I love coffee, I always leave with a number or two and it has free WiFi. So, if every time I go to Costco, Target or Starbucks I can walk away with a different man’s contact info, why worry about one loser who is not living up to REALISTIC expectations.

A huge part about learning what to accept from men is about your personal preferences, which most people don’t really know until they’ve experienced their dislikes.

I hate texts and emails at any point when it’s a decent time of the day to call me, and I despise any man or any person who feels that he or she has the right to talk to me as if I’m his or her child. Goodbye and good riddance! Life is too short to deal with someone’s bitch-assness.

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