It's one of those days when you and your friends have gathered to catch up after all the adulting you've done over the past couple of weeks.
All of you are sipping, or modestly chugging, that glass of wine. These days are perfect for basking in each other's gossip, talking about unnecessary shit and perhaps discussing the recklessness that has happened the past few days.
"Oh-my-god guys, I met this amazing guy on Tinder" one of my friends states excitedly as she inhales the remainder of her wine. "Please do tell and show me pictures!" I shrieked with intrigue consuming me. She continues telling us about her experience so far with this new guy and automatically we are all excited for the fresh meat in our friend's life. "I swear, I'm going to start dating women if this one doesn't work out," my friend laughs innocently as she shares this with us. "I mean, Guisell seems to have so much fun, right?”
Of course, by this point, I pour half the bottle of wine into my glass to try to block out such a comment. However, my signature Latina glare shoots out into them and I reply, "No babes, it isn't necessarily a better route."
See, this isn't the first time I've heard a straight girl say she will "go gay" if it doesn't work out within her straight world. I actually hear it quite often. Now, I would like to give a heads up to my straight ladies before they dive into the wonderful world of the lezzies, so they know what they're getting into.
Myth 1: Women always understand.
Err. False. My beautiful lady friends, women aren't always as understanding. In fact, I've dealt with some top-of-the-line insensitive characters in my time. Just as in any regular relationship, effort and constant communication is also stressed in our world. Without such behaviors, we too will go into the emotional roller coaster everyone dislikes.
Myth 2: A woman knows what another woman likes.
As much as I love that we lezzies are put in such a pedestal that may be far from the truth. Okay, it is understood that good sex derives from many factors but I believe that one that is really important is actual shared sexual chemistry between both partners. It's unrealistic to think that because I am a lesbian, I will have great sex with another woman. If only you all knew about the unpleasant sexual moments I've had with other women, you'd realize how far-fetched that thought is.
Look, just because we both have graduated into lady love-making, does not guarantee an experience that will be satisfied for both or any of the parties involved. So, my straight babies, the possibility that it won't be mind-blowing sex exists.
Myth 3: Lesbianism is a hobby.
Lesbianism, or sexuality for that matter, is not something that you decide one day to take up. Consider thinking about the other woman, who presumably is a lesbian who might fall for you. That lovely lez is willing to be your experiment, but at what price? Do not treat your fifth heartbreak of the month as an excuse to dismantle another person's heart. You didn't like your heart being juggled with, so why should our community take a hit for your questionable coping mechanism?
Are you ready to go down there?
Like, are you really? You can't possibly believe that you "going gay" will mean it's only a receiving situation. So yes, I know some women who prefer to please their ladies, but it isn't necessarily that way all the time.
Are you ready to kiss the forbidden lips that haven't been available to you up until this moment? Are you truly sure you want to participate in the giving and receiving of magical orgasms simultaneously? Darling, doesn't that sound appetizing? If it doesn't, is “going gay” after this boy possibly breaks your heart still an option?
Explore your sexuality because you actually want to.
I am all for the exploration of sexuality. In fact, most times I don't believe we should limit ourselves to just one label just for the sake of easier categorization within our world.
Sure, I mainly identify as a lesbian but I am aware that sexuality, at the end of the day, is fluid. If you are feeling curious, please go try it. Do not feel ashamed of your urges or your desire to trample some unknown terrain. You never know, steering away from what you know might just be where your happiness lies. Just make sure to try to not hurt anyone along way intentionally. Also, please and I cannot stress this enough: BE SAFE!
My lovely people, we are living in a world where so much is readily available, including exploration of sexuality. Let's just try to not use people for your cause and be honest with your intentions. So, tell me, should I be picking you up anytime soon?