You're single and maybe you are talking to one or two guys. Right now, you mostly converse over the phone or in a group setting. Rather than wasting your time or worse, getting played and feeling dumb, you start to wonder where this can go or if it should go anywhere.
The following is for the girls who are "talking to someone," but haven't decided how close they should get to him. Here are five telltale signs you should stop talking and move on to someone else:
Especially if you are interested, pay no attention to the antiquated, gendered social constructions of whether or not a girl should text a guy first. Let him know!
However, if you are always the one to initiate the conversation, or if he usually ends the conversation abruptly, maybe you should reconsider.
If he never answers you, only texts you during the week and disappears on the weekend or only sends you texts at night, do not waste your time. There are plenty of other guys who would love to talk to you without weirdly specific patterns of when he's available!
2. Social Media
If you know more about this guy via his social media activities than you do from information he tells you directly, either you are a stalker or you are wasting your time.
If you think you stalk to much, try getting to know him — not his virtual personality. If you have tried, and still are only getting details from tweets, find someone you can get to know better sans social media.
"Too few" is just as bad as "too many." If this guy has never complimented you or said something nice while flirting — especially if you have done so — he may not continue to do so in the future.
On the other hand, if he says, "hey gorgeous," every time he initiates a conversation, either you have been ignoring him and he is trying to butter you up OR you're not the only "gorgeous" he addresses.
The secret is to know how much he compliments people and in what context he does it. Find someone who only pays compliments when they're of the genuine and thoughtful category.
4. He "misses" you
Unless he is extremely far away, there should be no reason for him to miss you this so early on. If he really misses you, he can find time to surprise you or actually take you on a date.
Whether he is far away or close or maybe neither of you have time, he should find ways to show you how much he misses you rather than just haphazardly say so.
Also, how can you miss someone you do not really know? Stop talking to this guy and look for someone who will actually miss you... right after he drops you off after your date.
5. He has a girlfriend
Enough said. If you know he has a girlfriend, stop. There are plenty of single guys out there. This should be obvious, but unfortunately, it isn't always as so.
Maybe you have been talking and did not realize he was taken until later on in the courtship. You may discover this from a friend or you may find out directly from that girl.
If he is willing to cheat on and disrespect his girlfriend, he will never give you the respect you deserve, either. Find someone who does not have a girlfriend he is trying to hide.
When you want to get to know someone better, you need to create a balance of taking risks while also being a little skeptical (at first). Plan a group get-together so neither of you feel pressured. Quite simply, if he does some of the things listed above, cut him off from the start.
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