They say that we’re always wanting the things we can’t have.
At the same time, we’re also told to go after what we want and not to let anything ever stop us. So, which are we supposed to listen to?
You could say the devil's on one side and the angel is on the other. And, we all know it's a little (or a lot) more fun to play with the devil.
But, when it comes to falling for a guy who you can’t have because someone else already has him, what do you do? Answer: Do nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Even when that devil in disguise comes toward you with love and open arms and gives you the time of day, run far, far away.
In the rare case that you’re 100 percent positive that the taken heart will genuinely be yours in the end, say screw it. Not only does a taken heart not deserve a piece of yours, but a taken heart is taken for a reason.
But, for all other cases, here are five reasons why you should never consider going after a guy who's in a relationship:
Disclaimer: The message contains teenage angst.
1. Three’s a crowd:
When you’re falling for a guy who already is taken by someone else, rest assured, the third party will not be ecstatic about your presence.
Even if she isn’t suspicious about the whole affair, if and when — and yes, there will always be a when — she finds out, she will not be happy.
And, seeing as you’re the one who could’ve tainted the heart that she loved so dearly, she’ll take her hatred out on you way more than she will on him.
This guy was able to convince you to go against your own morals to be with him. Chances are, he’ll know how to manipulate his significant other into believing that it was never anything anyway.
And no matter what age you are, girls are crazy b*tches. Save yourself the expanded dictionary of verbal abuse.
Think Blair Waldorf banishing Jenny Humphrey from Manhattan. Yeah, that’s what I thought.
2. Self-confidence gets shattered:
Think about it: this guy has you on the side, next to his actual significant other — the girl he claims to love.
How does it feel to be the second best thing in someone’s life?
You know how when you were a kid, you vied for the attention of your parents or teachers? It’s like doing that, but never winning because there’s just no way to win.
He will leave your presence to go back to someone else’s. When he tells you he has to skip out early because he has plans with his significant other, it will probably hurt.
You’ll probably find yourself asking what you could do to come out as the winner in his eyes, but it’s just a waste of your time.You’re perfect just as you are. Homeboy is just messed up and using you to feed his own self-confidence.
But, don’t let him shatter your self-confidence. He will treat you like a sideshow in his screwed up life.
3. You’ll stop trusting:
Why should that one assh*le be the reason why you’re unable to trust any other guys for a long time?
Unfortunately, getting out of a situation like this will make it hard for you to trust. When you start to question what was real and what wasn’t, you’ll stop believing in anything real at all.
Has he ever told you he actually loved you? You’ll probably never know if it was sincere or not. And, knowing how twisted the guy could be, it probably wasn’t sincere.
Falling for a guy in a relationship isn’t an ideal or normal situation, but you will start to base future relationships off of this unhealthy one, no matter what.
There are good guys out there and contrary to what Carrie Bradshaw taught us, there are good SINGLE guys out there, too.
Be patient. Patience is a virtue for a reason.
4. It’ll stay with you forever:
There are some things that you will never forget, and many of them will involve the people you love. No matter how many times you tell yourself something made you truly happy, only you can convince yourself of that, not anyone else.
If you’re as lucky as I am, you have incredible friends who support you through anything and everything, but you’ll still run into people who aren’t so supportive, and it can hurt your relationships with them.
Or maybe, along the road, you’ll lose respect for yourself for even getting into such a toxic relationship. At some point, your heart and emotions will be toyed with throughout this situation.
You’ll want to look back on your young years with happy memories, so save yourself the angst and find someone who is deserving.
5. You won’t win:
I used to believe in the phrase, “If you love two people, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first, you never would’ve loved the second.”
I’m calling complete bullsh*t on this one now, simply because if homeboy ever loved either one, he never would’ve loved the other. So basically, he just loves himself and is incapable of loving anyone else.
Chances are, his girlfriend will forgive him or he'll end up leaving you both to go find someone new.
You’ll wonder what you could’ve done differently, and you'll replay every single moment in your mind. It’s not worth it.
Unless you want to spend endless nights dosing up on melatonin and banging your head dramatically to The Pretty Reckless' "Make Me Wanna Die," I highly suggest you be the first one to get the hell away from the situation.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that no matter how much you may think you know someone or want to be with someone, there's always a reason why it might not be right.
In college, you see people go through all kinds of relationships, and watching these people has taught me a lot. It has inspired me to try to understand relationships on a deeper level.
I've never had a real relationship, and I'm okay with that.
There are so many complexities that go into relationships; so many qualities and abilities you need to possess to be ready for one. The main quality is loyalty, and that's the one quality on which cheaters just don't have a grasp.
Maybe that's why I haven't had a relationship, but maybe it's not.
Maybe it's because I'm still holding onto the dream that Chuck Bass will show up and my doorstep and propose.
Whatever the reason, everyone deserves to be in a relationship in which both people are completely faithful. Point blank: If he's in a relationship, just keep it in your pants.
And, to guys in relationships: unless you want to start hearing slightly angrier versions of Taylor Swift lyrics in the form of screaming from two parties, I highly suggest you reevaluate your actions and just don't.