When I first moved to New York, my only goal was to settle down… with a career. For others like me — you know, the go-with-the-flow-I'll-worry-about-it-in-the-morning types — this city makes it easier to seriously think about everything else but marriage.
Sure, in times of polar vortex or when you're spending a lot of time talking to mom on the phone, the thought might cross your mind if you meet someone with serious potential... but it doesn't matter. Between work, bars, events and Seamless, New York just simply makes it too easy to stay single.
Here's why the city makes it easier to push off that pesky marriage question until… who knows?
1. You're sooooo busy.
You can call New Yorkers almost anything you want, but you can't call them lazy. These are some of the hardest-working people I've met, and they're not wasting any time not getting ahead.
And that is exactly the problem. When your colleague is logging crazy hours without breaking a sweat, you have to beat him or her or you'll end up looking like the weak link.
Your schedule makes it impossible to see someone more than once or twice a week and before you know it, once or twice a week isn't enough for feelings to grow. I mean, you basically have five days in between each date to forget about each other.
2. There are just too many choices.
Choice is good. But too many choices can just be confusing. When you feel like you can always trade up to someone cuter, smarter, taller and only a Tinder swipe away, you might just stop making decisions in fear of making the wrong one.
Barry Schwartz is a genius at explaining this in the book “The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less.” When you're not making any decisions of that overabundance of choice, you find yourself stuck with nothing at all.
3. You're simply too independent.
Most people who live in New York live here for a reason and it's often because they're ambitious, amazingly talented people who just want to be the best versions of their awesome selves. Those people are usually quite independent, which is a good thing, but when it comes to settling down, could be a not-so-good-thing.
Here's why: Sure, being independent makes you exciting and intriguing, but being too independent also gives you the whole I-don't-need-you-or-anyone-else attitude.
4. There's no need to split house chores.
I understand that the point of getting married isn't to have someone to split house chores with (I hope), but it certainly helps. Maybe your significant other helps you around the apartment and before you know it, you couldn't ever imagine life without him or her.
This won't be a problem in New York, a city that makes it affordable to receive services that are deemed a luxury in smaller cities. It doesn't cost me that much more to get my laundry washed and neatly folded by someone other than me.
Hiring someone else to clean up after you and make it look like you're not a complete slob is also somewhat affordable.
5. There are so many delivery food options.
It's just so easy to settle down in your studio walk-up, turn on Netflix and order something delicious from Seamless because there are so many tasty options. So much so that you'll never find yourself sitting around thinking, "man I wish I had someone to cook with."
But how will you ever create meaningful memories with anyone worthwhile if you're just stuck in your apartment all day, every day?
All of these reasons won't stop true love if you want it to happen, but the next time you look up and find yourself single, don't blame yourself. It's much easier to blame New York.
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