Who was he? Let me guess, tall, dark and handsome?
Maybe he had big muscles and strong hands. Maybe he had that scruff on his neck that he didn't shave only because you told him not to. Maybe he knew exactly what to say to you. Maybe he made you happy.
Suddenly, maybe without warning, something happened -- something unexpected.
2016, like many years past, brought me a series of less-than-stellar romances. And if you're anything like me, you've found yourself suddenly single again at the beginning of the new year.
With cuffing season in full swing, it can be hard to be hopeful about anything come January. I realized (after downing some wine and having a full melodrama sesh with some friends) I had to focus on changing my mindset.
I could either become completely enveloped in everything I lost or be grateful for what I gained.
As I began to set my resolutions, I knew I had to make changes and make a promise to myself that I will never accept anything less than what I deserve, I will never live a life that is not amazing and I will never give my time to someone who cannot give me theirs.
1. I will not chase him.
I will not become a part of the chase because he is not worth seeking if he does not see me as the prize.
I will not waste energy on a man who didn't use his. I will not wait for him if he believes I will come. If he wanted me, he would have been here. He would have made sure he was a part of my life.
I will not beg him to care because I understand a man worth having is not a man who should have to be convinced every day the reasons why he should stay.
2. I will make myself happy.
I will make myself happy and put my physical, mental and spiritual well-being first. My value and worth in this world are not based on the acceptance of a man or the status of a relationship.
I will focus on myself and what brings me joy. I will love myself and everything I am. I will love my body for what it is and I will revel in the joys of the life I was given.
I will express gratitude to myself and others. I will stay up late and do everything I've ever wanted to do and I won't think about him because he does not deserve any place in my mind.
3. I will be okay.
It is not written anywhere that I need you. You were only a lesson for what I don't want to look for in a man. I have learned to be independent, and in that I am stronger.
I feel more capable now than I have ever felt before. I will be okay. I will move on. I will spend time with my friends. I will exercise. I will read books. I will go to parties. I will go hiking. I will travel. I will do everything to show you I am still okay.
4. I will be unstoppable.
Your actions will never bring me down. I will succeed. I will push myself further. I will take control of my life. I am a badass bitch who don't need no man.
5. I will realize how much he gave me.
You didn't take away anything from me because you don't deserve it. We could continue to blame each other and give excuses for why things happened the way they did, but the truth is, none of it matters. I learned more about myself in the past few weeks than I ever have, and in that I am grateful.