As I sit here and begin writing a list of things to pack for my trip to visit my boyfriend in Pittsburgh, I can’t help but reflect on how things are going in my current long-distance relationship.
Let me start by saying that absence does NOT make the heart grow fonder. It makes the heart bitter, resentful and in a state of constant angst.
Don’t get me wrong; it has been nice to have some independence and learn more about myself over the last year. I’ve learned that I’m very anti-social, I don’t have any real hobbies, and incidentally, I need a ridiculous amount of attention.
Sure, Skype calls are great, iMessage is a life saver and Snapchat is basically a reflection of daily life, but coming from a girl who needs constant contact and affection, long-distance relationships are terrible.
The good news is that I seem to be handling everything extremely well. With that being said, I truly believe that I finally have a grasp on this whole “LDR” thing and can offer some honest realities to anyone embarking on the crazy adventure that is a long-distance relationship.
Food is not a replacement for love, but can sometimes feel just as good.
I had a wonderful summer with my boyfriend full of sunshine and laughter…then the bastard abandoned me for selfish reasons. Just kidding; he went back to his university for another year, but it still felt awful.
Once he left, I took on the habit of constantly eating; I would eat almost anything in sight. I actually don’t think I went through a full week without ordering Dominos for a two-month period.
Eating was my new hobby, and pizza became my one and only love. Needless to say, junk food went directly to my trunk and basically every other part of my body.
After gaining weight, I was left feeling angry and bitter, and I essentially blamed my boyfriend for the unsightly change in my body.
(Update: I finally stopped eating pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner and have returned to my ordinary size.)
A cat, on the other hand, IS a replacement for love and may cause jealousy issues.
I adopted a cat near the end of summer named Tony. He’s a little scruffy munchkin that loves attention. I also love attention. When my boyfriend left in September, I found myself totally consumed with my cat.
I legitimately would avoid making plans with people because I liked the cat better than the majority of my friends.
We have become so obsessed with one another that even when my parents come to my apartment, he will sit and give them death stares until they leave.
You can imagine the tension that arose when my boyfriend was staying with me at Christmas time. I actually felt like I was cheating on my cat by cuddling with my boyfriend instead.
Now, I find myself feeling more and more horrible about getting on that flight tomorrow and leaving my baby in the hands of another woman (my mom).
If constant irritability hasn’t been an issue for you in the past, you’re in for a treat.
Everything your boyfriend does will either be wrong or not good enough. In the early days of him leaving, you will feel so distraught and only begin to start smiling again every time his name pops up on your iPhone.
He’s wonderful and perfect, and you just can’t imagine a day without him. Then, as the days go by, you will begin to wonder why he has only FaceTimed you once today, instead of the usual twice.
Also, why are you always the one having to initiate the call? Doesn’t he know how many guys would like to take his place?! Does he not value you?! He’s probably busy FaceTiming his mom instead of you! How dare he.
Every single girl is probably flinging herself onto your boyfriend while he’s at school without you.
You may as well get used to it, or hire a hit man.
I know that my boyfriend is a great catch. He’s funny, smart, handsome and all around a genuinely good person.
Since I know he’s great, I obviously know other girls must see his abundance of good qualities, too, right?
It really does get easier as the months go on, but I promise, it makes you psychotic in the beginning thinking of all the other women who get to see him on a daily basis.
The way I deal with this is by knowing that in the end, a simple Internet stalking will lead me to hard evidence (eventually) if anything should be going on.
Knowing that I can easily get revenge and ruin his life if he messes this up really helps to keep my spirits up when I’m feeling down. (I'm not evil; I swear.)
Time does not stand still while you’re apart; things DO change.
We’re in our twenties and trying to get our lives figured out. Within the timeframe my boyfriend and I have been apart, my life has changed significantly.
I have a new job, new apartment and the most amount of responsibility and stress I’ve ever experienced.
Clearly, if I’m undergoing all of these changes, he is likely experiencing different things, too. You are going to grow as a person, and so will he.
Hopefully the two of you continue on the path of happiness and enjoy spending time together after going through such changes.
All in all, long-distance relationships are hard, and the majority of the time, they suck. Why else would there be endless articles about tips to make them work?
You really can’t predict how things will turn out, and there’s a good chance they might not, but I guarantee that if you don’t try, you’ll regret it.
If things do work out, you may have just found your one fish in the sea.
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