4 Reasons I'll Be Completely Okay If I Don't End Up Married
For quite some time now, I’ve known I'm not like the majority of my fellow females.
I have never been the “relationship type."
Some people may even say I have commitment issues. Said people are probably correct.
I don’t daydream about a handsome man sweeping me off my feet and falling in love.
I have very rarely thought about my wedding day, my future husband or my future perfect family living in suburbia. I don’t have a Pinterest board labeled “one day,” “future house” or “wedding.”
“No Aunt Sheryl. I don’t have a boyfriend yet.”
“Nope, no boyfriend in the foreseeable future.”
These words have been behind more eye rolls and sighs from my family members than I can count.
What I’m getting at here is I’m fairly confident I'm not like most girls.
To be honest, I’ve never been particularly interested in what anyone thinks about that.
Yet, as 2016 rolls around the corner, I am officially labeling it the year everyone and his or her mother will get married.
Gone are the days it was possible to scroll through Facebook or Instagram peacefully, without at least five engagement announcements, wedding photo uploads or worse, pregnancy announcements.
At the moment, I’m 21. I'm a fetus, basically.
I can’t even imagine how much worse this will get in the years to come.
As I get older, I assume the dreadful question of “Do you have a boyfriend?” will evolve into “When are you getting married?”
This has provoked (for the first time in my life) thoughts of marriage in my mind.
After some deep introspection accompanied by my good friend, Pinot Grigio, I’ve come to a conclusion: I will be just fine if I never get married.
For almost 22 years now, the most important relationship I’ve been in is the one with myself.
Like every relationship, we’ve had our ups and downs.
But that’s the relationship I want to -- and will continue to -- work on for the remainder of my life.
Your relationship with yourself is what needs to come first and foremost.
Yes, it needs to come before a beautiful husband or wife.
I want to be a successful woman in the business world. I want to be happy with myself and what I’ve accomplished. I want to put myself and my happiness before anyone else's needs.
Call me selfish, but if being determined to live a wildly happy and successful life is the most selfish thing I’ve ever done, I think I’m doing just fine.
Now, contrary to popular belief, I am not completely “soulless.”
I hope that some day in the future, I can find someone mentally strong enough to put up with me, be committed to me and love me.
But in today’s day and age, I’m not so set that it needs to end in marriage.
For those of you rolling your eyes at me (you can go join Aunt Sheryl), here are the answers to the burning questions and comments I know you’re internally screaming at me:
1. “Don’t you want some confirmation of your relationship?”
I assume it’s pretty confirmed. I don’t need a piece of paper and a big day to confirm this person will love me.
I want my husband to prove it through years of support, even when I decide to be a complete psychopath.
2. "But like, that’s just what people do.”
People also do meth. You aren’t telling me to do that, are you?
There is no reason for you to justify your relationship to the rest of the world.
There is no reason I'm going to get married just because society says that’s what I should do once I’ve been with someone for X amount of years.
By the way, not to be the bearer of bad news, but those people end up getting divorced anyway.
3. “Don’t you want a special day?”
Sure. I’d love a day that completely revolves around me.
But that’s every day. (Kidding.)
I’m sure it’s fun, but is a wedding day what I need to validate my relationship? Not really.
What really confirms my relationship is someone who will still think I’m sexy after he watches me eat five sushi rolls.
That, right there, is love.
4. “But being married is like, totally awesome.”
I’m sure it is, but so is having an amazingly successful career, being happy with yourself and being proud of everything you’ve accomplished in your life.
By the way, so is being in a committed, long-term relationship with someone you love and want to spend the rest of your life with.
Kind of sounds the same when you put it like that, doesn’t it?
The end result (for me at least) is that with or without a significant other, the most important relationship in my life will always be my relationship with myself.
“I love you, but I love me more.”
That's something I will never apologize for.
I hope that with or without a significant other, I'll get to live happily ever after after all.