4 Things You Have To Establish Before You Commit To Someone

by Anton Benbalit

There are many reasons so many relationships in America fail: miscommunication, lack of trust, egotistical behavior, cheating, lying, neglect and lack of respect for your significant other are just a handful.

Through my own personal experiences and mistakes in the world of dating, I have gathered the facts and come to a conclusion or two.

These are four of the cornerstones that I feel you must utilize to have a healthy relationship:


If you can’t trust your girlfriend or boyfriend to go to the bars with his or her friends when you’re stuck at work, then you shouldn’t be dating this person. Relationships are built on trust, and as soon as it’s gone, so is the love.

Sure, everyone has fears and concerns about his or her significant other cheating, but to call your boyfriend or girlfriend out on it before it ever happens just makes you look jealous and insecure.

There’s no need to act jealous if your partner is talking to someone at a party. In the long run, if your partner is cheating on you, then he or she is, in fact, the one who is f*cking up, not you.


You need to take the time to build an emotional bond with someone if you want your partnership to pan out. There have been too many times that I have woken up next to a girl I only had a physical, not emotional, connection to.

Not only is it more attractive to have something more to offer than just sex, it is also more enlightening, both spiritually and mentally.

No one’s perfect, and although we all have our dream lover conceptualized in our heads, life is probably never actually going to be that way. We have to accept each other’s faults, share our concerns with one another, work through problems together and love each other unconditionally in order to make it work.

Inner Happiness

You should be content with where you are in your life and happy with yourself before committing to anyone. Although it may sound selfish to be content with who you are before you add someone else to the mix, it’s actually the reverse.

Too many people nowadays expect to be happy in a relationship when they aren’t even happy with themselves. In the long run, a miserable person’s inner struggle will destroy a relationship, no matter how good he or she is at hiding it.


Aretha Franklin had it right when she said, “R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Find out what it means to me.” Mutual respect in a relationship is essential because there’s absolutely no reason you should be with someone who doesn't view you as an equal.

From presents and surprises to introducing each other to your families, the respect for one another should be on the same level. If she's in trouble, you are too, and you need to figure a way out of it together.

There are certainly a lot more factors that go into making a relationship work, and there is definitely much more I still have to learn, myself, but if you make sure the above four things are locked down, you're off to a great start in your new relationship.

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