It's been recently brought to The Modern Alice's attention that there has been a slew of complaints on social media about how men seem to prioritize their jobs over their significant other: a constant conversation bringing to limelight where the concept that women in today's generation yearn for a man who works hard, but is quick to anger when his dedication takes time away from her.
When a man's attention is pulled from his lady, especially those that are derived from working hard to accomplish their personal and business goals, it can often times bring a discomfort to an insecure woman. Now, not all women fall into this trap, as there are those who are dedicated to their own careers and have healthy relationships. But if you sometimes find yourself frustrated, considering the following. There is a glamorous side to this relationship, but one has to really understand what it truly means to date a successful man.
As wonderful as it may be to date someone with a dedicated work ethic and is successful in their career, it does take a lot of patience. There will be times where his schedule will bring new meaning to the word “hectic,” and his time with you becomes scarce.
Don't fret. A man who is truly about reaching the top or propelling his business will be inundated with work that requires his full attention and A-game. It's not to say that his work is more important than you or that he's ignoring you, but in order to provide a certain lifestyle, he must entrust himself unto his work to produce the quality that is required of him.
This same concept applies to women who are in the same boat. Whenever you are in the pursuit of something big, it takes unrelenting dedication, a substantial amount of time and inexorable focus.
Now I'm not saying that it's acceptable to be put on the back burner and be left to fade in the background, but there needs to be a level of understanding to his actions. In order to build an empire, you truly have to be unyielding in your quest. Put yourself in his shoes. Be cognizant of the fact that it takes a lot of hard work to be successful.
It's not a surprise to find that most successful men are quite charismatic and have a magnetic personality. That's almost a prerequisite as they have to deal with meeting clients and working with different types of people that have to trust them. When you are likable, you tend to have a better chance of securing business and expanding your network. It's just how it is.
With that being said, it can surface some emotions. This is usually apparent with women who are a bit insecure with themselves (whether that deals with their physical appearance, their status, where they are in life, etc.). Now this isn't always the case but is typically the norm for women who are struggling with themselves. When you are dating a very successful man, you will have to have a very good grip on your emotions — especially that one that deals with jealousy.
You will have to check your envy at the door and trust in the fact that there is no meaning to his friendly and open personality. This is also especially true when it comes to social media. If he (or she) is tagged in a picture with the opposite sex, it does not necessarily mean anything — especially if it is in a work environment or in a group photo.
Now I'm not saying to turn a blind eye, but if you know your significant other is a man of integrity and not one to commit suspicious activities, do not let your assumptions run rampant. Unless there is probable cause and solid evidence, do not make accusations that can cause toxicity in the relationship. Trust in him as you would want him to trust in you.
Sometimes, being with a successful man, you'll get caught up in his life and his work. You cater to his long hours and give all your support as best as you can to accommodate his dedication. Granted that this is the ideal way to do things, but do remember to keep some balance and also focus on your life. It's great to compromise, but it's even better to ensure that you dedicate just as much passion in your own goals and aspirations. Don't ever forget to invest in yourself as well. There needs to be a balance on how much you focus on supporting him and focus on supporting yourself. Do not get so wrapped up in following his path that you forget to forge your own.
Always coddling him isn't healthy. A truly caring and successful man that loves you will want you to have your own success and not be so dependent on him. Space is necessary between two people in healthy dosages so that you don't lose your identity by attaching it to someone completely. Balance and compromise are key to a strong relationship when both parties are striving for success.
Never forget to focus on bettering you just as much as he is. This is always easier when you both are attempting to achieve the goals you both have set for yourselves. It takes insecurities out of the equation and allows room to feel equal. No one is inferior, no one is more superior to the other. After all, when you date a successful man, he likes to surround himself with others who propels him rather than hinders him. So when you are in the right place focusing on your priorities, you are able to help him be better, and he will respect you more for that.
A version of this article was originally published on the author's blog.