17 Awkward, But Cute Situations You Have With Your Brand New Boyfriend
Finding a good man who doesn't scare you right off the bat is hard to find these days. So when we do find him and do plan on locking it down, we're extraordinarily careful not to mess it up.
Especially in the early stages, when you're still getting to know each other and haven't fully revealed your solo habit of licking sauce off plates, you're not 100 percent comfortable yet.
You're still hyper-aware of each other's presence as you navigate the beginnings of a courtship together.
There isn't enough time invested in the relationship to prevent him from straying after he finds your "Hoarders" collection of old magazines.
Consequently, both parties tread lightly during the initial phases, slowly sharing more of themselves because too much would be too overwhelming.
When you have a new boyfriend, the process of introducing him into your world is both exciting and frightening. Exciting because someone finally cares about your life and you get to become a part of someone else's.
Frightening because holy sh*t, you haven't cleaned your room since last week and you don't exactly have said life together, let alone primed and ready for someone else to join in.
Don't worry, that's why they invented Instagram filters.
Remember, it's the vulnerable moments that bring you two closer together. Those instances when you let your guard down and share your true self is when you really shine in his eyes.
Here are the 17 awkward situations you find yourself in with your brand new boyfriend.
1. Farting, or doing anything less than ladylike
“Ooops, I'm a human!”
The third wall has officially been torn down. Farting is basically a gateway drug to freely exposed pimples, hairy legs and shouting from the toilet.
Congratulations, you didn't scare him off, you just made your relationship a whole lot sexier.
2. Accidentally meeting the parents too early in the game
You didn't plan for it to happen this way. For whatever the circumstances were, it just did, and now you find yourself prematurely introducing your new slampiece to your parents before you had time to properly prep him on their special brand of crazy.
Hey, look on the brightside, compared to your mom you're a walk in the park.
3. When he finds your collection of Sylvia Plath "Sad Lit"
At least you're literary?
This falls under that category of “adorably awkward,” like discovering he's a nerd for animals or is an avid New York Times crossword puzzle solver.
Don't be ashamed, we all feel trapped in “The Bell Jar” sometimes.
4. Letting him know you lied about almost everything you told him when you were trying to get into a relationship
“It's not that I don't like working out, I just never actually ran that marathon I told you about... But it was only because I was trying to impress you…”
We understand. Let's hope he does.
5. Leaving The Friends and The Boyfriend alone when you go to the bathroom
It's kind of like dropping your kids off at a far away college -- they're on their own now and it's up to them to get along.
As long as no one brings up the time you made out with your professor or what really went down sophomore year Spring Break, everything will be just dandy.
6. Letting him know what you want sexually
“Ahhh, maybe you could, er, choke me? Just like, put your hands near my neck, maybe? Kind of like Edward Cullen, reverse vampire stuff, yeah? Um…”
I guess that went well.
7. The first time you Seamless together
Forget trying to decide on a cuisine, that's only half the battle. The awkwardness really comes into play when you say, “Are you sure that's going to be enough food for us?” because you secretly know you're going to dominate the fried rice.
Once you show him how much you really eat, he'll appreciate your concerns.
8. When he discovers that weird spot in your iTunes that you don't want to talk about
LIKING GAVIN DEGRAW IS NOT A CRIME! Like Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
9. Going to the bathroom
For the first few months (yeah guys, it's months, get over it), you feel compelled to do weird things to cover up your bathroom situation, probably just making it more obvious.
Hopefully, he has a relatively isolated bathroom or else you'll be "grabbing coffee" a lot more frequently.
10. Running into old hookups
Him: “I didn't know you had a brother.” You: “Yup! We used to bang, so now we're estranged.”
11. Negotiating how frequently you should see him
You hate admitting this to yourself, but deep down you know you want to see him as much as possible, like koala-bear-on-trees status.
Going full-on stage-5 too early in the game is never a good idea, however, so you try to limit yourself. Keeping your hands off each other is even harder.
12. The number talk
It's always a game-time decision what you're going to go with (see number 4: lying).
If you met on Tinder, immediately assume anything under 20 is a fib.
13. Paying the check
You're still figuring out each other's financial situations and what you're comfortable spending money on.
Deciding what to do with the check -- split, cover, let him take care of it -- can be awkward to navigate at first because you both want to do the right thing.
Approach it like you would oral sex: give a little, take a little and don't be afraid of simultaneous action.
14. The contraception conversation
There's never a convenient time to think about STDs or otherwise.
Merely skirting around the topic of babies is uncomfortable when you're alone, let alone with someone whose middle name you're not even quite sure of.
You need to have the conversation early, however, so you don't have something more serious later.
15. Texting him a message about him originally intended for your friends
It happens to the best of us. You're really excited about his fully-formed six pack and pet fish and then hastily send the text to him instead of the group chat. He'll find it endearing, we promise.
16. Whose apartment to go to
Maybe yours is really dirty and you don't want to say it. Or maybe you bug out being around his roommates, now that you know they can clearly hear you guys getting at it.
Regardless, no one wants to hurt the other person's feelings so you end up doing the back-and-forth, I-can-come-to-you-or-whatever dance until one person makes the executive decision. Looks like you'll be orgasming in silence tonight.
17. Sharing your Netflix password
What if you break up and he sees you watched “Bridget Jones's Diary” three times? What if you don't break up and he sees you love binge-watching “Cupcake Wars”? (Um, excuse me, it's actually a really great show with tons of heightening drama.)
We all got turned on by “Blue Is The Warmest Color,” so don't sweat it.