A girl's heartbreak is a catastrophic event that transpires inevitably and with uncontrollable catharsis.
On a serious note, guys really underestimate some girls' reactions to heartbreak. Some tears, some angry phone calls to their friends and perhaps, some ice cream to recuperate? Okay we do do that… but there is more to it!
Heartbreak is scarring, regardless of the relationship length. Nevertheless, the effects are the same. It provides for an 180-degree turn in our perspectives. We become assertive. We become cognitive. We become other people. But, guys don't evaluate these consequences when they decide to cut off relations with you.
It's beyond their abilities to comprehend. This is why we must become self-reliant, self-efficient and self-driven in order to confront the brutal realities of our heartbreaks.
Here are some mantras I use when I have to navigate anything between a minute and a monstrous heartbreak.
I hope these items assist you as well as they assist me:
It's perfectly okay to want to quit on life, as long as you don't.
I know the temporary feeling of wanting to give up on everything and developing a cynical outlook just because you are devastated and feel torn to pieces. It's okay to sulk like this for a day or two, but get your sh*t together after that.
You can't waste your precious time on a dude who just walked out on you. That's absurd! Feelings don't walk away; people do. So if he was dumb enough to walk away and disregard his feelings — not to mention, yours — he isn't worth it.
It's okay to want to quit initially, but don't actually quit on yourself and your potential.
Your life was blissful and joyous before he was in it; it will be blissful and joyous after he leaves.
Yes, this is possible. I know you're thinking that this is the end of the world and you're never going to find the right guy. You might think he was the one for you and he demolished your every hope and desire -- no!
If you were happy with your life before he came along, there is no reason you shouldn't be any less happy after he leaves. You have everything that keeps you intact. He doesn't complete you. If he completes you, then you complete him, too.
Since he left, your job is to revert back to your same life, but as a new person. The new you will have a much more enjoyable life, I promise.
There is a time and place for everything, and if it doesn't work out, then it's just not meant to be.
I hate when people coerce their ways into relationships or attempt to make things work that are completely dismantled.
Sometimes, the time just isn't right for a relationship. People are occupied, focusing on themselves and living for other purposes than just relationships. A forced relationship is an unhappy one.
Let time do its magic and maybe that magic will be different than you expected.
No matter how great of a woman you are to a man, you will never be good enough if he is not ready.
Hence, the right time and place. I cannot stress the importance of this any further.
Some good things have to come to an end so better things can fall into place.
Would you rather have “good” or “the best"? In order to attain the best, we must let go of things that only serve as “good” to us. When something is the best, it'll be so impeccable that it simply won't collapse.
There is a reason for everything. Nothing will be taken from you without the existing intention to replace it with something much better.
Everything happens for a good reason. Most of the time, you won't see its goodness right away, but down the road, you will. When you do, you will appreciate the reason why it was taken away.
No relationship is a waste of time. If something didn't bring you what you wanted, at least it taught you something you don't want in a relationship.
I never regret past experiences because at some point, it was exactly what I wanted. Now, it's exactly what I don't want — fine. It has reconstructed me, molded me and shaped me to become who I am today. Over a period of not-so-good experiences, metamorphosis takes place and it makes you, YOU.
Sometimes the things we can't change end up changing us.
We can't control decisions that other people make. Their verdicts, however, do have the potential to control us. Let their verdicts control you for the better. Be the strongest and most confident version of you.
“Unless it's mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it's a waste of your time, there are too many mediocre things in life. Love shouldn't be one of them.” — Dreams of an Insomniac
We tend to grow negligent about everything else in life when we speak to the guys with whom we are “in love.” It's important to remember that your world and reality are two different entities. There's more to life than him, I promise.
“When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” — Alexander Graham Bell
We are all guilty of this. Why? We think that the closed door was the best door that ever opened. If it was the best, then why are more doors continuously opening for you?
If you gave the door that closed a chance, you should also give the new doors that are opening a chance. One of those new doors will never close on you.
Having negative thoughts will change your whole perspective. Think positively.
A pessimistic mindset will drive you insane. You will conjure every extremely negative hypothetical situation that absolutely will not occur. Stop inflicting unnecessary pain on yourself and stop making yourself feel cumbersome.
You are hurting yourself more with your negative perspective than the outcome of the situation at hand will hurt you. Revaluate the situation and your thought process in the aftermath.
Most likely, the real reason you are in pain is because you are forcing yourself to believe things that are untrue and merely figments of your thoughts. It is never too late to alter your mindset and embark on a mission of optimism.
You have heard this a million times but I will once again repeat it: If you love something (or if you strongly like something) let it go. If it comes to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be.
This statement should be enough to test your faith in the guys you pursued. If he doesn't resurface in the near future, he isn't the one for you.
There's no reason to be upset because someone else will fight for your love. You just haven't found him yet — be patient.
P.S. This does not mean that you should sit by the window and gaze at the sky in hopes that he will return. Recall the mantras about the right time and place for everything.
You don't have any control of time; move forward with your life just as he is and have faith in yourself, your merits and your talents.