There’s an art to picking up women. It isn’t an art I especially respect, as the methods themselves are literally damaging, but I will admit that it works 90 percent of the time.
It all comes down to simple psychology and the human ego.
Once you know how to manipulate people into wanting things and understand how to change their perception of themselves and their surroundings, you can get people to do things they never thought they’d do.
Throw in some liquor and other party favors and taking a supermodel home becomes easy.
This article isn’t supporting the methods of such pick-up artists, but rather reminding women to be on the lookout.
Most women are already familiar with such tricks, but in case you need a refresher course, here are 10 ways guys will break down a woman's self-esteem just so they can sleep with her:
They’ll pick on you.
It’s starts off with playful pokes at the way you slouch, the way your lipstick smudges on your teeth, the way you waddle when you wear high heels.
Guys want to take your self-esteem down a couple of notches, and to do so, they need to make you aware of your little flaws -- flaws that every person has.
They’ll insult you.
Once they make you feel a bit self-conscious, they’ll cut you down a few more sizes by insulting you to your face. They’ll tell you your dress is ugly. Your hair is greasy. Your ears are too big. Your perfume is disgusting, etc.
They will likely only insult you in one fashion at a time so they don't scare you away entirely.
But as they are mixing these insults in with regular conversation and possibly even some flattery, you’ll feel less confident in yourself, but not so insulted that you take off.
They’ll give you attention and then divert it to another woman.
When a man checks out another woman while he is with his girlfriend, issues usually ensue.
However, when a guy checks out another girl while he is working on picking you up, he’s hoping to strike the chord of jealousy to make you believe you aren’t special -- he wants to plant the thought in your head that if you don’t snatch him up, he’ll get snatched up by some other girl.
They’ll hit on your less attractive friend.
This one is a go-to for all pick-up artists and players alike. When a guy wants to get into your pants, he’ll often start off by hitting on your less attractive friend instead of you.
Doing this often makes women contemplate why it is that they, the prettier ones, aren’t the center of attention. Once he gets you to want his attention, you're putting the ball back in his court.
They’ll try their best to make you feel like you’re less valuable than you are.
Women just aren’t interested in men they deem less valuable than themselves. As human beings, everything we take into consideration, we take into consideration comparatively. We weigh our value in comparison to the value of others.
When women look for a man, they want a man they feel is as valuable as they themselves are, if not more so.
For this reason, since most men can’t increase their value via conversation alone, they do their best to decrease the woman’s value -- or rather, her perception of her own value.
They’ll compliment you, but then make you feel like you could do better.
We all have untapped potential, but we don't want to hear that we are falling short of what we could possibly accomplish.
Hearing that we aren’t living up to our potential hurts our egos -- and that’s exactly what these guys want to do.
Hurting your ego makes it more likely that you’ll be willing to open yourself up to them, as if to prove you are more valuable than these men deem you to be.
They do their best to make you feel as if they are doing you a favor by being interested in you.
The goal for any man trying to take you home the night he meets you is making you believe you’re lucky you met him.
He wants you to feel honored that he’s interested in you and in order to do so, he will continually cut you down while simultaneously making himself appear smarter and more entertaining than he actually is.
He will tell you whatever lies he needs to because you’ll probably never find out the truth. Or when you do, it’ll be in the morning when you wake up and notice he’s long gone.
They flip back and forth from interested to uninterested in order to confuse you and make you divert your attention to them.
No one likes a boring guy -- but a guy who makes you feel a roller coaster of emotions -- even if only shallow emotions -- is a guy any person would deem interesting. When we are given attention, we want to keep that attention.
But once we know we are not at risk of losing that attention, we find ourselves to be uninterested. Guys understand this logic and use it to their advantage.
They’ll keep you on your toes until you practically beg them to take you home.
They want you to feel as if you need them. When it comes to picking up women for one-night stands, this usually means perks, such as money or admittance into select events.
He’ll buy you drinks or bring you to his table. He’ll take you to another bar or club and make sure it’s far enough so that you rely on him for transportation.
He’ll do his best to remove you from your friends and familiar surroundings in order for you to feel as if you are relying on him for either your safety or fun. He wants you to need him, even if only for the next few hours.
They will make sure you’re having a bad time so they can "save you" and show you a much better time.
That’s right, some guys will go as far as to ruin your night just so they can then save it.
How this is done depends on the guy and what he himself is capable of, but it can be anything from hiding your purse from you, knocking into someone and having a drink spill all over your dress, to literally getting you thrown out of a venue for some random reason.
As long as you are having a bad time, he has an opportunity to show you a better time. The worse time you’re having, the easier it is for him to improve your night.