As if there isn't enough to overanalyze, going on another first date might be the thing that finally sends our female brains into full-blown panic mode.
While we try to keep things light, enjoy ourselves, say all the right things and of course, look cute doing it, there are a million and one thoughts that race through our minds at any given moment we sit down for dinner.
Is he texting under the table? Whoa, I am eating way too fast. Should I be flirting more? OMG, I can feel it. I totally have something in my teeth. He looked way hotter on Facebook... No, wait. It's okay; he's definitely hot.
You get the point.
Consider the intricacies of the female mind with these 10 questions every girl asks herself on the first date. Take notes, boys.
1. Is this really a date?
It may sound silly, but really, girls are capable of some serious Jedi mind games. With enough overthinking, we can talk ourselves into just about anything.
For example, we’ve thought about how stupid it is to put on some wedges and straighten our hair for this guy who just wants to network over a cocktail.
2. How late should I really be?
Every girl knows you can’t be the first one to show up to dinner (we’re still not calling it a date), but how late should you actually be?
Not so late that it’s just plain bitchy, but late enough that it doesn’t seem staged (even though it totally is). You already know that the guy will be roughly five minutes late, so after factoring that in, we're looking at a seven- to 12-minute fashionably late timeframe.
3. What the hell do I order?
If I order a salad, am I being that girl? If I order a burger, am I one of the guys or am I just a fat ass? If I get pasta, I will inevitably spill it down my top and slurp it all over my face, but if I order the filet, I will look like a gold digger.
I guess I’ll just stick to wine and the breadbasket… oh wait, then I look anorexic. Fine. Chicken it is.
4. Am I talking about myself too much?
We ladies usually don’t have a problem jabbering on, whether it be about ourselves, our jobs, our dogs, our roommates, or that time we went vegan for two weeks, for any length of time.
Those of us who endured sorority recruitment are groomed to carry on dynamic conversations with a brick wall for 45 minutes straight.
It can be a struggle, but try to avoid swerving into interview mode. This is supposed to be fun, remember?
5. Wait, is he talking about himself too much?
Cue internal debate.
He hasn't shut up about himself in like 10 minutes. He's totally being selfish. Aw, wait; he’s actually being really sweet. Maybe he'll invite me to meet his parents’ at his summerhouse in Nantucket. Wait, what? Who's Lauren?
Chill out, shut the hell up and just listen.
6. Can I have a second drink?
While you’re listening, you might as well drink, am I right? The unspoken two-drink rule is key for a good first date. One drink means you’re boring.
Three drinks mean you're probably getting sloppy. Two drinks mean smooth-talking perfection.
7. Is that really all he is going to eat?
… Because I will finish that. Too soon?
8. Do I offer to pay, or run to the bathroom?
The check arrives at the edge of the table and after a few moments of sheer panic and the beginnings of a cold sweat, you realize the correct answer is neither.
You just sit pretty, say thank you and sip that second drink of yours. If the guy you’re with thinks you should pay, he can ask you himself.
Oh, and then see number 1 because this is probably not a date.
9. Is he going to kiss me?
You survived dinner and now it’s time to part ways. You’re mentally exhausted from talking about yourself and asking all of the right questions, but you feel drunk from adrenaline, combined with the fact you barely ate anything at all.
For a minute you think about a goodnight kiss (with a good old-fashioned leg pop), but instead, you both go for the awkward goodbye hug.
10. I'm totally in love... I think?
Hold your horses, sweetheart. Take a minute to come down from that first-date high before you decide how you feel.
Give yourself a minute to be on cloud nine, then give yourself another minute to be overly critical and pick the date apart (you’re going to do it anyway).
Then, ask yourself, am I ready for a second date? Maybe, but first prepare yourself adequately for another round of silly female mind games.
Photo Courtesy: Relativity Media/Safe Haven