When I moved in with my boyfriend two years ago, I was a cowgirl who thought she'd already been to the rodeo show. I thought I knew exactly what to expect.
After all, we’d had enough sleepovers and weekend vacations by then; what more could there be to learn?
Well, it turns out, a lot. In the past two years, I've learned things about my boyfriend, myself, relationships and household goods, than I ever thought I would.
After verifying a few of these things with my girlfriends, I realize I'm not alone.
Here are 10 of the most curious things you’ll learn after moving in with your boyfriend.
1. Your parents will care; his won’t.
When I told my mom we were moving in together, I got an earful: "You shouldn’t be giving the milk away for free," she said. The truth is, most people wouldn't want to buy a cow without a sample and, really, none of us should.
Still, she was worried we didn’t have a real commitment, and I’d end up in that dreaded long-term relationship purgatory, ringless forever. After much convincing, though, she came around and became supportive.
On the other hand, when he told his mom, she said, “Great, do you need help moving?”
2. His understanding of cooking and cleaning is limited.
After moving in with your boyfriend, you’ll find yourself wondering why he thinks the microwave heating time of a piece of bread is two minutes. You'll question how many times he’s going to use that coffee mug without washing it (many), and often find yourself answering the probe, “Do these shorts smell clean to you?”
3. He’s very good at appearing helpful.
There’s a light bulb that’s been out in our kitchen for three months now. My boyfriend emphatically agrees to change it every several weeks or so, but somehow, it remains.
I would change it myself, but I don't want to emasculate him (that's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it). If you ask your man to do something, he’ll rarely say no. However, it may never get done.
He'll be sure to point out if you dropped something or if you missed a spot, and he’ll also do a great job of asking if you need help just as you finish whatever chore you're doing.
4. His razor works better than yours.
One clear bonus of living with a man is that moment when you use his razor out of necessity, then realize it works better than yours. Seriously, the female razor industry is a total sham.
5. He really does want you to make him a sandwich.
“Make me a sandwich, woman!” my man yells jokingly. Except, he’s not joking. He really does want me to make him a sandwich. His taste in food has been honed over a decade of eating bread, meat and cheese (often together).
This has its benefits, though: He’ll never ask you to make a soufflé.
6. He really has no aim.
The first time I walked into the bathroom and stepped in pee was probably a few months after we moved in together. My mind, however, clouded by that blissful honeymoon phase, led me to believe it was water.
Recently, I learned the truth. My man has since agreed to be more careful, so I’m sure I only have a few hundred more pee puddles in my future. It was also a shock to learn that in most cases, a double shake is his substitute for toilet paper.
7. He likes surprises, but he also likes his schedule.
My boyfriend likes pretty much anything that seems new or different: jewelry, an outfit, a hairstyle (even if they're just recycled from last fall). However, he needs certain things to be consistent: his devices consistently charging, fresh coffee in the morning and your evening reality TV routine.
8. Morning wood is a compliment.
I know that his morning wood has more to do with what happens to his body when he's asleep, but he still tries to convince me that it's 100 percent because of waking up next to me, dreaming about me or just how hot I am in general.
This is a lie I'm willing to accept.
9. Farting becomes hilarious, for both of you.
I was convinced for a long time that my inability to fart around people would keep me from ever being comfortable enough to spend every night for the rest of my life with someone.
Thankfully, after only a few months of living together, this quickly became a non-issue. I still try not to fart at special moments, like during a hug or kiss, but for the most part, it gives us the giggles.
10. "His side of the bed" is also known as, "the middle of the bed."
Every night, the corner I sleep on shrinks a little more.
You'll also learn that falling asleep next to him at night and waking up next to him in the morning is the one of the most comforting feelings in the world.
He'll strive to take care of you no matter what, and, most importantly, you'll learn that it takes time to really get to know someone. Even as well as I know him now, I'm excited there's even still more to learn. Excited... and also a little scared.
What did you learn about your boyfriend after moving in with him? Share in the comments below.