I can't say that I'm for or against our generation's hook-up culture. I like the idea of people being sexually open and free, but at the same time, I feel that a lot of people sleep around to bury other issues they may be having in their lives.
What it all leads to is a whole lot of confusion.
It can be very difficult to figure out if a guy or girl is actually interested in you or is simply trying to release some stress.
Are these hookups just trying to have a good time or are they looking for a partner in life (something that we all seem to do sooner or later)? It's all a bit befuddling.
1. A date isn't necessarily a date.
Yes, he or she asked you to go out for some food and drinks, but didn't consider it to be "official" -- whatever that means. “It's not a date… we're just hanging out (and hopefully going to be having sex a bit later).”
2. There is no longer an accepted standard for how long you're "supposed" to wait before having sex is acceptable.
It used to be three dates. Before that, it was probably three months. Now… now three hours will do it if you can manage to pull it off. But is it acceptable? Depends who you ask.
3. There's a difference between seeing each other, dating and just hanging out.
Unfortunately, no one seems to have a clear idea on what that difference is. Those who do have an idea, have an idea that differs greatly from the next person.
This gets incredibly frustrating when you find someone you really like and find that you're having trouble labeling the relationship.
4. No one wants to label relationships anymore -- but at the same time, everyone wants their relationship labeled.
Let's be honest… not labeling your relationship is just avoiding commitment. People don't want to feel stuck. They don't want to feel as if they have obligations or responsibilities to another person. We all want to be free.
However, we all also want some solid ground to stand on. Good luck figuring all that out.
5. If you hooked up with someone, and you guys clearly aren't going to continue hooking up, is it okay to ask out his or her friend?
If a hookup was just a hookup and nothing more, then as long as both parties aren't interested in seeing each other again, both should be able to ask out whomever they want -- regardless of that person's relationship to the person he or she already slept with.
Nevertheless, we often decide it's unacceptable -- which is funny considering how many random people the average Millennial sleeps with. Soon enough, no one will be able to date anyone, as everyone will have a friend or a friend of a friend who slept with that person.
6. If you both just want sex, do you have to do the whole dinner thing?
I don't believe you need to. If you just want to have sex, then just have sex. Why pretend that it's more than it actually is?
If you're worried that the other person may want something more than just sex then you should probably have a conversation about where things stand anyhow.
7. If someone is clearly into you, but you're sure you just want to "have fun," then no matter how great the sex is, you should probably say where your head's at.
I know you don't want to risk losing those late night booty-calls, but leading someone on is never right.
It may be hard to convince yourself to cut things off, but if it needs to be done, then it needs to be done.
8. “I know that I sleep around, but I'm a guy. She's a woman. It's not okay for her to do the same!”
Yeah... you need to make your way into the 21st century my friend. These double standards just don't cut it anymore.
If you can't keep it in your pants -- and it's okay -- then how could it possibly be wrong for a woman to do the same? Use some logic.
9.“I could never be with a person that slept with so many other people…”
Welcome to our generation's hook-up culture. Most of us have slept with more people than we're willing to admit. My question is this: Who the hell cares? Does sleeping with a lot of people make you a bad person? A confused person? A lost person? A slut or manwhore?
No. All it means is that you're probably good looking, sexually hungry, and good in bed. I don't know about you, but those seem like qualities everyone wants in a partner. Remember, no matter what your relationship with a person, you don't own them. If anything, the experience ought to be humbling.
10. No one wants to be the first person to say "I love you."
Honestly, if you're lucky enough to find someone you love, especially while in the midsts of our current hook-up culture, then you should let them know as soon as you think they would like hearing it.
Sure, it could scare them a bit -- so I don't recommend necessarily rushing it -- but when you feel that the time is right, find some courage and tell them.
Hell, scream it off the rooftops if you have to. Remember, if you don't say it, it's likely that the next guy will. There are so many of us willing to "date" and "hook up" that when you miss your opportunity, you may not get another one.