Our 20s are a delicate transition period between drunken college hookup and the stark reality of adulthood and starting a family.
While you may not be looking to find a life partner right out of the gate, the habits you formed in college may follow you into real life dating.
If you want to get serious and find a healthy and supportive relationship, you have to be willing to work for it. Here are 10 dating habits that women in their 20s need to break:
1. Overthinking EVERYTHING:
Guys are usually not as complicated as we pretend they are; they’re pretty much always straightforward. If he says “I had fun last night,” he probably had a pretty good time last night.
We spend too much time looking for hidden meanings, rereading texts messages and taking forever to craft the perfect response.
The right response is the one you don’t have to think about. He isn’t analyzing how long you take to respond, so you shouldn’t either.
2. Following his lead:
There is no reason to wait for him to text you or ask you to hang out. You’re not a nervous high schooler anymore — take control and do what you want. If he doesn’t respond to you being forward, he isn’t worth your time.
3. Making exceptions:
If he has a character flaw that is a total deal breaker for you, there is no reason to make an exception for him. You deserve someone who shares your values and treats you with respect.
If he acts like an asshole even SOME of the time, he’s still not worth any of your time.
4. Feeling obligated to date:
Just because it seems like all of your friends are in serious relationships doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. Take your time and let things happen naturally.
Don’t force a relationship with someone just so that you can tag along on group dates. It’s never worth it.
5. Comparing every guy to your ex:
Your ex is your ex for a reason. Each guy deserves a fighting chance without being instantly put up next to your ex.
If your next relationship doesn’t take the same course as your previous one, that doesn’t mean it is flawed. It is just different, and you should appreciate the differences.
6. Compromising your sexual fulfillment:
You deserve to be satisfied in bed just as much as he does. If he isn’t willing to make the effort to get you off, say goodbye.
Too many women are afraid of letting a man go down on them because they feel self-conscious, but you should break the habit and demand attention.
7. Using alcohol as a crutch:
In college, drunk hookups were all the rage. In your 20s, it gets complicated with the cabs and sleeping over at apartments. If you really want to date someone, you can’t spend all of your time with him in a drunken haze.
A couple of glasses to loosen up is one thing, but waking up the next morning and forgetting the dude’s name gets old. You should be confident enough in yourself to carry on a conversation and show off your personality.
8. Getting stuck on your phone:
Texting is fine to an extent, but when so little of your conversation with a person involves actual speaking, it makes for a really awkward first encounter.
Meeting people in person and making an effort to have occasional phone calls can exponentially decrease the awkward silences you may find in person.
9. Changing who you are for a guy:
No guy is worth changing your personality. You may develop new interests while dating him, but if you’re hiding essential parts of your character, you’re doing something wrong. Eventually, it will catch up with you, and neither you nor your boyfriend will be happy.
10. Obsessing over being skinny:
You don’t need to be skinny for guys to like you. In fact, guys probably won’t notice that five or 10-pound fluctuation you think is so obvious.
Confidence comes from within, and no guy should ever change the way you feel about yourself. If you want to lose weight, do it for yourself, not for a guy.