TV
13 Times Jughead Jones From Riverdale Had An Absolute Way With Words

He *is* a professional writer, after all.

by Dylan Kickham
The CW

Jughead Jones wears many hats (OK, technically just that one beanie, but still.) Throughout the seasons, the burger-loving, crime-solving author has had some of Riverdale’s most iconic lines, from observant truth bombs to ridiculous rants about being a “weirdo.”

The CW

Sardonic humor is just my way of relating to the world.

(Season 1, Episode 2)
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“We’re not gonna hug in front of this whole town. So why don’t we just both do that bro thing where we nod like douches and mutually suppress our emotions?”

(Season 1, Episode 2)

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“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t fit in, and I don’t want to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That’s weird.”

(Season 1, Episode 10)

I don’t need a support group. If I am repressing something, I think I’d prefer to keep it repressed… you know?

(Season 5, Episode 8)
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Actually, I’m gonna sit alone. Just, you know, finish my book and brood.

(Season 2, Episode 20)
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"There's more than one kind of home invasion. It's not always fast and violent. Sometimes we open the door and we let the intruder in ourselves."

(Season 2, Episode 14)

I am, by nature, a conscientious objector.

(Season 1, Episode 4)
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I self-identify as a loner. I'm not a pack animal.

(Season 2, Episode 3)
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“I have a hard Holden Caulfield stance on phony small talk.”

(Season 4, Episode 8)

“Promise to never bring up the epic highs and lows of high school football again.”

(Season 5, Episode 6)

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“It’s called necrophilia, Reggie. Can you spell it?”

(Season 1, Episode 2)

I wasn’t born in rarified air. I didn’t grow up with any silver spoons. But my dad had the strength to turn his life around and become a sheriff. And I have friends and family that actually care for me.

(Season 4, Episode 3)
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Life's not an Agatha Christie novel. It's a lot messier.

(Season 1, Episode 13)
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