It's totally normal to feel nervous leading up to a first date, especially if you haven't kissed yet. Sometimes, nervous energy quickly dissipates once you come face-to-face with your date, but other times those butterflies stay turned up throughout the evening, and the looming first kiss can add just another reason to feel antsy to the mix. Will they try to kiss you? If so, when? What if it's awkward, or worse, just plain bad? Well, first off, relax. What matchmakers tell clients about first kisses will definitely help you let go of any concerns you might be stressing out about. That said, any and all worries that are ruining your chill are totally valid. After all, no matter how much kissing you've done in your life, locking lips with someone new for the first time can be intense.
The truth is, there's so much weight and pressure around first anythings, and sometimes all of the hype can really get in the way of just enjoying the moment. Sure there are things that could go wrong, but focusing on what if's is so much less fun than enjoying the company of a new hottie. Fortunately, I spoke to several matchmakers about the most important advice they give their clients about first kisses. Here's what they had to say.
I always tell my clients first kisses should not be expected on first dates. This can be difficult to comprehend given the world of modern dating world we live in, where instant gratification is the standard. Giving romance away too quickly can quash budding romantic potential. If it feels right, wait!
— Alyssa Bunn, matchmaker at Tawkify
A first kiss can be something that makes someone more excited about a relationship. I highly recommend that a first kiss doesn't have to be rushed; it doesn't have to be on the 1st or even 2nd date. A first kiss can show your romantic side if you chose to think about the place.
A first kiss is nice when it's not in public view, or within view of roommates. A first kiss is nice when it's truly about just a kiss; not expecting it to accompany anything else that a nice end to a good date.
— Stefanie Safran, matchmaker and founder of Stef And The City
First kisses are a sweet introduction to your physical expression of love with a potential partner. It's so important to stay away from overthinking the first kiss or trying to "make" it happen. Allow this expression of love and attraction to flow naturally. I always recommend that my clients set an intention before their date — how do they want to feel on this date, do they want a kiss, and if so, what do they want the first kiss to be like? After doing this, I recommend surrendering and allow whatever is meant to happen between you and this potential Love to flow in the way that it's most meant to. It's powerful to set intentions about what you hope to experience and equally powerful to let go of needing it to happen any way other than how it does.
— Heather Kristian Strang, spiritual guide and matchmaker
Go in for the kiss if you have been flirty and a little touchy. Even if you haven’t, you need to share a little lingering peck. Avoid the onion and the garlic, no cigs, and go for it.
A little lingering kiss is just the perfect amount to leave them wanting more for the next date and longing to see you again.
— Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking
Yes, the anticipation leading up to kissing a new date can be totally nerve-wracking. But, at the end of the day, you owe it to yourself to enjoy your time together and allow things to unfold without letting the pressure get to you. Let whatever happens happen, and don't try to force it! A good kiss is one where both parties are relaxed and want it to happen. And if they want to kiss you, you'll know. Trust.
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