Zach Russell

Currently a senior at Boston College, Zach turned 21 and felt nothing.

How The Collapse Of America Formed The Most Optimistic Generation

ByZach Russell
Most American citizens would not call it a privilege to grow up in a post-9/11 era. But for some reason, “privileged” has become the banner of our generation. We 20-somethings — like all 20-somethings — have been molded by the major events of our…

How My Overactive Mind Is Killing My Ability To Have Good Sex

ByZach Russell
I’m convinced I would have much better sex if I were an idiot. Comedian Nick Kroll explains that dumb people are the best at sex because “don't think about sex, they just straight up screw.” Well, I must be quite the thinker because I am the worst…

5 Things Your Boyfriend Thinks When You Bring Up Your Horoscope Again

ByZach Russell
Like most men (and people), I think horoscopes exploit the masses by being vague enough for anyone to identify with them. But that doesn't mean they're worthless. The value of a horoscope has nothing to do with what it says, and everything to do…

No One Believed I Had An Eating Disorder Because Of My Gender

ByZach Russell
I used to wear gloves in class. But I wasn’t making any bold statement of self-expression. My hands were just cold. The gloves made it difficult to hold a pencil, which didn’t help my already sh*tty handwriting. But they kept me from needing to…

10 People You Never Want To Be When Having A Post-Sex Sleepover (Photos)

ByZach Russell
The worst part about sleeping with someone is the actual sleeping. The sex is over, which means there's nothing to look forward to except the devolution of intimacy into a sweaty mess of limbs. In the movies, the morning after the leading man has…

What It Really Means If You Get One Of These 8 Gifts For Christmas (Photos)

ByZach Russell
Every gift has subtext. You buy your spouse a wedding ring to symbolize your eternal love and devotion. You buy someone a Zune because you hate that person. With so many gifts, Christmas becomes a minefield of hidden intentions and unintended…

14 Questions You’re Too Scared To Ask When You Start A New Job

ByZach Russell
Your college friends have moved to different cities and you’re surrounded by mystery-adults. It soon dawns on you these people are going to be your friends, but which ones? You scan the office -- not the kid-having married people, not Steven, the…

Ben Carson's Radio Rap Proves He's Out Of Touch With Black Voters

ByZach Russell
Young black people prefer to speak in rap lyrics. At least, that's what Ben Carson seems to believe. Ben Carson recently put out a radio rap ad called “Freedom” to appeal to black voters in a "language they prefer," choosing to communicate through a…

7 Alternatives To 'Trick-Or-Treat' Guaranteed To Get You More Candy

ByZach Russell
Going door-to-door yelling “trick-or-treat!” is a time-honored tradition, but it’s a little strange that people so welcomingly open their doors to an ultimatum. You’re really just a child intimidating an adult while your parent stands guard on the…

A Guide For Millennials: How To Own It On The Beach This Summer

ByZach Russell
If you go with your family, the beach is a relaxing getaway, prepaid and carefree. Vacationing with friends may be much more exciting, but splitting a house with eight people to lower the cost means spending time with seven other people you're not…

Who Would Win In A Fight: Cancer Versus All The Other Zodiac Signs

ByZach Russell
I've always believed in horoscopes. Every day before I leave for work, I check the paper to see if I'm going to control my environment or be controlled by it. As I ready my bike, I assure myself, "Today is not the day to be impulsive." I owe my life…

What 11 Food Labels Would Really Say If They Were Being Honest

ByZach Russell
Sometimes, I like to stand in the pantry and stare at my roommates’ food. But, I’m no thief. I don’t steal their food. I just watch it, which is actually somehow worse. During these late nights of staring — this is a dark, early morning kind of…